This song is playing in hell on constant replay.

I cannot get it out of my head today and I don't know why.

Tha LOOOOOVE BOOOOAT!

Since its been two months since I have been in a bar, I thought I would post a picture of the best bartender of all times. Isaac from mofockin Luv boat.

Yeppers kids, TWO MONTHS. NO DRINKIN. NADA. dry. NO smokin either.

I highly recommend it to anyone.

I feel so good that I have my super oldies TV themes Time-Life collection cranked up to 11 on my ghetto blaster.

Friday all over the place

-Business is good. I thought that making more money would make me happy and as it turns out, I was right. Like a rolling stone in reverse going uphill, now that i have something to lose I don't want to lose it.

-Helmut got back from his Ireland-Wales-Scotland trip. He said that the hookers over there are hotter than the American hookers here. Further proof that the United States is falling behind the rest of the world. Thanks for the Guinness hat:)

-Ron should get an Elvis jumpsuit and fat shades and just live his life walking around like that.

-Texas Tech baseball radio broadcasters are terrible. SO far this season, they have spent most of their time explaining how much "insider" information they know about Tech athletics. Which is great if that's what gets you off. As for me, I would like to know THE SCORE and the situation updated pitch by pitch....i.e. Baseball game announcing. I told their boss last night that I would still listen. I am not going to name names here, but a reliable inside source at the radio station confirmed just last night that they are training a chimp and a three year old to take over next season. For $139 dollars you too can get the rest of the scoop.

-The Big Dance-March Mayhem-Madness-Mania update. If Texas makes it to the final game , and Davidson wins tonight but loses Sunday, and UMass advances to the third place game of the NIT, then I can get in the tie breaker for 4th place. Damn Duke screwed me.

-Jericho got canceled AGAIN. I got into the show 3 weeks ago. Basically, the show is about a big company staging a nuclear "terrorist" attack on the U.S. and using this to take over the government...blah, blah, blah....that'll never happen. Hey CBS...what happened to all of the Hispanics? Did they die?

-Finally, Kinsey is the coolest person in Lubbock County next to Ron if he indeed decides to spend his life in an Elvis jumsuit with fat shades.

Lubbock Centennial

Baby dont get hooked on me

The best part about this whole shindig is Mac Davis is going to perform. Hell Yes! It's Sunday at the "Bubble" which is now reffered to as the City Bank Coleseum. It's 5 bucks and I hear that Joe Ely and Barry Corbin are going to be there as well.

100 years of Lubbock and you still can't get a 6 pack at the Swami Mart.

I hear people bitch and moan about this all the time but I dont care. Besides, if you need a beer, it isn't the worst place in the world to be in. Which brings me to my Lubbock Conspiracy theories.

The two greatest things about living in Lubbock.

First and foremost, you can get a beer in a frosty mug at any daytime and most nighttime hours for under 2 bucks. It it isn't no sissy beer either. I know for a fact the Spoon has 1.25 Schooners all DAY...Everyday!

The second is just a freak deal, but hear me out. This only applies to me but if I am listening to local Lubbock radio and I flip around the stations, within 10 minutes a Carlos Santana song will be playing. It's so true. I have lived here on and off for years and its either Black Magic Woman, Oy ya Como Va, or that one he did with the dude from Matchbox 20.

Those are the greatest things besides Red Raider Football, the Llano winery drunken art festival, and tailgating...plus the weather which is blowing dirt right now as I type. That is not the actual name of the Art Festival but it should be.

My friend...good ole TF!

He and his wife are expecting a baby girl. They are picking through various names and his criteria is simple. If it sounds like a stripper name, then it is out. I was in his office the other day and he was doing the constipated-stoner DJ voice of any strip joint in America, you know what I'm talking about. "Now welcome to the stage...Kashmir!" Kashmir gets my vote for the name, by the way but i betcha its going to be Gertrude or Hillary..ha! j/k Tit...

David Dewhurst Ad

There is one on local televison about how he is going to make sure only
U.S. citizens get to vote and how he is going to enforce this if he gets elected. Sounds good David! Is that one running on Telemundo too? I'm actually for this but it isn't like his opponent John Sharp is saying he wants to let illegals vote...sheesh!

He isn't going to pull my vote becasue he was Gov. Rick Perry's chairman for Homeland Security and he is going to spend 14 million or somesuch to get elected. Anyone that can spend that much money to get elected isn't doing so if they dont think its a good investment for themselves. Save the 'serve the citizens' speech for the locksteppers Dave..I'm not buying.

There is a great article about David Dewhurst here.


John Sharp is the former Comptroller that saved Texas from having a state income tax back in the early 90's. I'm voting for him.

Caucuses?

Evidently, we have to go to a caucus after the primary election. That gives me tired head.

You're Hired!

Talent pays more than training, of that I am now convinced. I hired two normal males in the 28-30 year old range. They are rocking! It turns around that fast. Notice I stated 'normal'. Normal in this case means damn near Mormon without actually being Mormon. No tattoos, prior convictions, or substance abuse problems. They both have families. It's a great deal because they are not afraid to turn the wheels of commerce.

Cha-ching

Our rivals in Amarillo and Albuquerque both stated they would beat us here in Lubbock this week. If you added up their combined production, they missed winning by 100. Reminded me of this years football game against A&M. One of their player gauranteed a win. Tech 35 A&M 7.

Bill Clinton came to Lubbock

Never thought I would state this but I wish he was running. More than that, I wish Al Gore was running. There was a big crowd, but in the paper the next morning the pictures of the crowd in attendence looked like the cast from The Grapes of Wrath.

The Government is Broken

Step 1. File taxes.

Step 2. Get check from the 'stimulus package'

Step 3. Pay 40% more for goods and services.

Go look up on wikipedia the Weimar Republic. It worked out pretty good for them. I know, I know....some of you will think, that cant happen to us. This is America! Well, we have done this before in the latter half of the 1920's. The next thing that happened was called the Great Depression.

YADA, yada...Roger Clemens meet Karma.

I want to believe he didn't. I really do. Then I think, what does this matter? The Yankees cheat, OU cheats, the Patriots cheat. Makes it sweeter when the cheaters lose. Back to Roger. No Red Sox were mentioned in the Mitchell Report. hmmmm.

More Baseball

The Red Raiders start the new season on Friday afternoon. I will be there along with the other 15 people that care. Hopefully it will be better than last season. I have high hopes.

Knight

He quit on his team. I was disappointed in the facts and the spin more than anything. But now that it is done, I am happy we have Pat. The bottom line is until we can recruit more athletic players, it will be mediocre at best.

If symptoms continue..

This is day 87 or so of coughing, sneezing, and general bad health. I think last year was the only time I did not get ill during the change in seasons. I didn't work, I ate healthy, and lost a ton of weight because I was getting pumped at the gym. The weight is still off, I eat semi-healthy, and I get little aerobic exercise. I am sick because I work all the time.

Work=sick and Unemployed=healthy.

That doesn't exactly fit into Immanuel Kant's 'categories', but I'm no German philosopher and all I wonder about is how cool it was for him to just sit around and think and write. From what I remember from college, he isolated himself from his friends, and made up this stuff to ponder that hardly anyone other than the professors and eager debate students really cared to understand. I was the debater that quoted him, but didn't fully grasp the content. However the perception that I did understand come to find out proves some of his writing true....I guess.

One thing I like about my limited knowledge and understanding of philosophy, is that it's like hanging out with fat people. First, most people I hang out with have no knowledge whatsoever. Those that do cant keep it straight. So by comparison, I feel better about myself having a 38 waist than having a 50 size IQ. It's all about space and time in this reality of dimensions.

Chick movies I like

I saw this movie called The Holiday this weekend. I guess it came out last year. It was good. I hate to admit this, but I watched way too much football this weekend and needed something different. Because I'm comfortable in my sexuality, I can admit that I like chick flicks.

Maggie Dawg Update

The greatest dog of all times is in good shape, although I think she is starting to slow down now. I use to get upset at her when she would crawl in bed while i was gone, spreading hair, leaves, and dirt all over the sheets. Now that she is 10, I don't get upset. I am just glad she is around to irritate me. What will irritate me more is when she isn't going to be around. Here's to a good 6 more years.

Political Pundit Shows

I tried to watch Meet the Press and be interested. The only thing I like about the show now is all of the historical footage from shows past. The current show with Tim Russert is good, but the content is just too depressing. Only so many ways to try and spin chicken shit into chicken salad.

The best of Sunday Morning jerk

CBS had an interview with Steve Martin yesterday morning. I never get tired of seeing that wild and crazy guy play the banjo. He said that he quit stand-up many years ago and has never been back, but I sure wish he would. One of my favorite songs as a kid was King Tut.

Worst last name ever.

I'm interviewing a man with the last name BASTARDO in the morning. It was hell holding in my laughter over the phone while booking that appointment. (looking at resume') "So Misterrrrr Bastardo? and your first name?...let's just go with that. What was your family life like growing up?...hahahaha..just kidding."

Five

It costs 5 dollars for a Sunday New York Times in Lubbock, Texas. It also costs 5 dollars in gas to find a business that sells it, thank you unmentionable large coffee conglomerate. I passed on the 5 dollar mochachino frape' with kung fu grip in favor of all the news that's fit to print. Did you get all that?
I travelled the 5 miles back to the 'Stubbs' subdivision 'jonesing' for folgers. 5 bucks for cigarettes and 5 bucks for milk to compliment my breakfast. I found myself in the heat and humidity fit for a June Sunday in the Hubaplex. I spent 5 minutes retrieving the perfection of paper slash morning coffee breakfast bliss.
The Pixies exclaimed in my head, 'If the devil is six, then God is Seven! God is Seven! God is Seven! I must be Five I thought, not in the context of age, but just as a being. As I sipped my Lubbock water Folgers, I realized there were five words in this sentence. This monkeys gone to heaven.
Other than hearing the words 'Touchdown Red Raiders!' or the United Spirit Arena announcer utter 'Darryl Dora THREEEEE!', my favorite thing is lazy Sunday morning peace and quiet. That and the 5 seconds of anticipation of what is..... and what may become.....when beginning to read.