Monday, December 29, 2008

I was going to save this for next year....

but it cannot wait. This picture story is called Aggy Wedding.


This is the brides cake.




This is the grooms cake





This is a picture from the bachelor party.



Sunday, December 28, 2008

Red River Rivalry

I have read the article provided below by Thayer Evans in THE New York Times.


http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/26/sports/ncaafootball/26recruit.html?_r=2&partner=rss&emc=rss&pagewanted=all



Geoff Ketchum wrote a a rebuttal for Orangebloods.com. I read it too.


Not that my opinion counts for much here, but usually in these types of emotionally charged disputes between the two, I consider the source. It would be a no-brainer NYT vs. Orangebloods? Are you kidding me.

Well, not so fast my friends....Thayer Evans it seems has an obvious fascination about the Oklahoma Sooners. In fact, here are a list of some of his articles and biography.


Here is the scoop folks. Mind you, this is pure specualtion.

The recruit is a dumbass. The mother is a greedy dumbass. Recruit really wants to play for Texas but is not sure, but Mom really likes OU's 'offer' for a scholarship. ENTER "unbiased" Reporter.

Now here is the rub folks. I find it hard to believe that the New York Times would publish such an article, then I noticed it was December 25th. I guess the editor was in the Hamptons for Christmas thus weak article almost void of credibility gets published.

I have the greatest idea

Jerry Jones should sell the Cowboys. Just think what would be possible.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Friday, December 26, 2008

Internets





I have a file called, "stuff that might be blogworthy". Sometimes when I have nothing of note to write about, I simply put up a picture and then make some stuff up. Like this above.

So there ya go....

Monday, December 22, 2008

official holiday message/rant

I learned this year that no matter what, it is never too late. I also found out that despite the absence of alcohol and nicotine in my system, life is still hard. However, it is so much easier without it, especially the sleeping part. I have been sober 5 months yesterday, the awake part is pretty good too.

I feel lucky and grateful to be alive.

"So what do you want for Christmas?" my father asks me.

"I want for nothing." I say then I ask, "what do you want?"

"I want World peace, of course." We both laugh. I thought that was cool because he means it and also he knows its not possible at the same time. Still he says it. Consider the gift given.

This is really stupid to admit, but my emotional well being is subject to the outcomes of Texas Tech football games. I think my new addiction to break besides too much food and Jones Root Beer is emotional dependence on football. It can be done, but then what?

Then what? Really?

I am seriously considering three possible career moves. The first is, continue in the meat business. That seems underachieverish but the money is good.

The second is, become a Communications or History Professor. Become a doctor. Be poor. What a life that must be. I was told there would be no math on this exam.

The third is, work for the National Parks Service. Become Russ the Park Ranger.

It seems I am indeed destined to wear bad shades of green:)

Package beer and Liquor sales vote in Lubbock

Little bird just flew in and said that even though 8 thousand signatures were thrown out, the petition to have a vote for package alcohol sales succeeded.

Lubbock will vote in May.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Goodbye Texas Stadium

I can't remember exactly how old I was when I went there for the first time but it was the mid 70's. I loved the big scoreboard with all of the lights and I thought Crazy Ray was cool.

I saw Guns and Roses, INXS, Iggy Pop, and Ziggy Marley at an all day concert 20 years ago there.

In the 90's during the rebirth of the Dallas Cowboy dynasty some friends and I became fascinated with the term "Blue Parking"....

Good times were always in abundance at Texas Stadium.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Lubbock and Acuna to become sister cities.

Lubbock is the fat one that goes to church all the time and has the personality of a piece of old leather. Acuna is the slutty one that only goes to church to pick up a trick and is always wearing leather.

I can't make this up.

The comments are delightful. Enjoy.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

More LOLcats



I just cannot get enough. I think this is the greatest byproduct of internets.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Turtleman



Awesomecakes!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

assholes screaming boomer sooner

In this video it is Billy Sims from the University of Big Red Sports, Motors, and trailer house and trailer house accessories...

Notice how the MOM has a nice new fur coat. Enjoy.



In my superior opinion, the best football player in college football is Percy Harvin of Florida. The Heisman is nice I guess. The Miss America pageant is nice too. It is the same, except that only 6 or 7 schools have a realistic chance to have a winner.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Heisman_Trophy_winners

Harrell got to go to the White House with Mike Leach. Can you imagine? W and T$O (the Strange One=Leach) in the same room conversing? To be a fly on the wall.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Monday, December 08, 2008

John

Hotty Toddy

Texas Tech vs. Ole Miss

I think Tech will lose 31 to 9. We don't play well in the Cotton Bowl. The Rebels are hungry and the Raiders are disappointed.


OU is playing in the National Championship. I heard today that OU might be going through another investigation regarding players getting paid. Maybe they should look into academics too. OU is last in graduation rates.

What a joke.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Quotations

Federal Reserve Quotes

"I have never seen more Senators express discontent with their jobs....I think the major cause is that, deep down in our hearts, we have been accomplices in doing something terrible and unforgivable to our wonderful country. Deep down in our heart, we know that we have given our children a legacy of bankruptcy. We have defrauded our country to get ourselves elected."
- John Danforth (R-Mo)

Federal Reserve Quotes

"This [Federal Reserve Act] establishes the most gigantic trust on Earth. When the President [Wilson} signs this bill, the invisible government of the monetary power will be legalized....the worst legislative crime of the ages is perpetrated by this banking and currency bill."
- Charles A. Lindbergh, Sr. , 1913

Federal Reserve Quotes

"The [Federal Reserve Act] as it stands seems to me to open the way to a vast inflation of the currency... I do not like to think that any law can be passed that will make it possible to submerge the gold standard in a flood of irredeemable paper currency."
- Henry Cabot Lodge Sr., 1913

Quotes on the Federal Reserve

"The few who understand the system, will either be so interested from it's profits or so dependent on it's favors, that there will be no opposition from that class."
- Rothschild Brothers of London, 1863

Federal Reserve Quotes
"The Federal Reserve bank buys government bonds without one penny."
- Congressman Wright Patman, Congressional Record, Sept. 30, 1941

Federal Reserve Quotes
"The Federal Reserve banks are one of the most corrupt institutions the world has ever seen. There is not a man within the sound of my voice who does not know that this nation is run by the International bankers."
- Congressman Louis T. McFadden (speaking in the Senate)

Federal Reserve Quotes
"When you or I write a check there must be sufficient funds in our account to cover the check, but when the Federal Reserve writes a check there is no bank deposit on which that check is drawn. When the Federal Reserve writes a check, it is creating money."
- Putting it simply, Boston Federal Reserve Bank

Federal Reserve Quotes
"History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
- James Madison

Federal Reserve Quotes
"Some people think the Federal Reserve Banks are the United States government's institutions. They are not government institutions. They are private credit monopolies which prey upon the people of the United States for the benefit of themselves and their foreign swindlers."
- Congressional Record 12595-12603 - Louis T. McFadden, Chairman of the Committee on Banking and Currency, June 10, 1932

Federal Reserve Quotes
"Neither paper currency nor deposits have value as commodities, intrinsically, a 'dollar' bill is just a piece of paper. Deposits are merely book entries."
- Modern Money Mechanics Workbook, Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago, 1975

Federal Reserve Quotes
"Give me control of a nation's money and I care not who makes it's laws."
- Mayer Amschel Bauer Rothschild

Federal Reserve Quotes
"From now on, depressions will be scientifically created."
- Congressman Charles A. Lindbergh Sr. , 1913

Federal Reserve Quotes
"The regional Federal Reserve banks are not government agencies. ...but are independent, privately owned and locally controlled corporations."
- Lewis vs. United States, 680 F. 2d 1239 9th Circuit 1982

Federal Reserve Quotes
"...the increase in the assets of the Federal Reserve banks from 143 million dollars in 1913 to 45 billion dollars in 1949 went directly to the private stockholders of the [Federal Reserve] banks."
- Eustace Mullins

Federal Reserve Quotes
"It is well that the people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning."
- Henry Ford

Federal Reserve Quotes
"The modern Banking system manufactures money out of nothing. The process is perhaps the most astounding piece of sleight of hand that was ever invented. Banks can in fact inflate, mint and unmint the modern ledger-entry currency."
- Major L .L. B. Angus

Federal Reserve Quotes
"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create deposits, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take it away from them, and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create deposits."
- SIR Josiah Stamp, (President of the Bank of England in the 1920's, the second richest man in Britain)

Federal Reserve Quotes
"Banks lend by creating credit. They create the means of payment out of nothing."
- Ralph M. Hawtrey, Secretary of the British Treasury

Federal Reserve Quotes
"People who will not turn a shovel full of dirt. nor contribute a pound of material, will collect more money from the United States than will the People who supply all the material and do all the work. This is the terrible thing about interest ...But here is the point: If the Nation can issue a dollar bond it can issue a dollar bill. The element that makes the bond good makes the bill good also. The difference between the bond and the bill is that the bond lets the money broker collect twice the amount of the bond and an additional 20%. Whereas the currency, the honest sort provided by the Constitution pays nobody but those who contribute in some useful way. It is absurd to say our Country can issue bonds and cannot issue currency. Both are promises to pay, but one fattens the usurer and the other helps the People. If the currency issued by the People were no good, then the bonds would be no good, either. It is a terrible situation when the Government, to insure the National Wealth, must go in debt and submit to ruinous interest charges at the hands of men who control the fictitious value of gold. Interest is the invention of Satan."
- Thomas Edison

Federal Reserve Quotes
"By this means government may secretly and unobserved, confiscate the wealth of the people, and not one man in a million will detect the theft."
- John Maynard Keynes

Reply | Quote

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Thank you Guns Up Jesus!

Mike just took his name out of consideration for the Washington job.

Ummmm...I feel AWESOMENESSTOWN!

Mike is gonecakes.

Mike Leach isn't returning any calls from Tech. Several sources reported Wednesday afternoon he is going back to Seattle for a second interview with the University of Washington. We all know what that means. Well maybe, anyone that is familiar with Mike knows it is possible to need two interviews to understand the man.

This is the third off season that there have been rumors of Coach Leach shopping his services. This is the first time that a school appears interested. As it stands with incentives and bonuses, Mike will make 1.9 million for coaching the Red Raiders this season. Mike stands to receive a bonus of $800,000 should he be the Red Raiders coach on Dec 31, 2009, which would make his total package in 2009 worth 2.85 million if he wins at least 7 games. His contract supposedly includes a $500,000 buyout.

It has been vague and sketchy, but many believe that Tech was in the process of re-working his deal to be negotiated after the season. Of course, I do not know the exact details of the new contract or any offers from Washington. But if I were a betting man, and I am. I would guess that UW will have to offer Mike a total package in excess 3.2 million per year to get him. I do not think this is about getting the most out of Tech in the negotiation, but it could be.

If Texas Tech has to pay Mike Leach in excess of 3 million per year, then it is not worth it in my opinion. I like Mike and I love what he has done, but that is too much. Nothing against his accomplishments, and I do not want to suggest he hasn't earned his pay. I believe he deserves a raise with incentives for Conference Championships and BCS berths. I think he should make 2.75 million for 5 years with a $750,000 bonus for a Conference Championship. $500,000 for a BCS berth and 1 million for winning a MNC.

I will be shocked if Tech hasn't tried to make an offer to Mike. I would not be shocked if Mike wants to leave for greener pastures or a new start. If that's the case, then let's get Art in here.

What is pissing me off? This is recruiting season and our rivals are on the road getting the job done. For the third straight December our coach is screwing around, and I bet for a third straight January our football team is going to be behind and have to pull a massive comeback to win.

Things are not good in Raiderland. It's been a tough month.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

TSO

The Strange One aka Mike Leach. The greatest football coach in the history of ever.

He is in Seattle talking to University of Washington officials about their coaching vacancy. The Huskies went 0-12 this season. We were tied for 1st..yada yada yada..if you care you know the deal.

Life as we know it in the Hubaplex is about to implode. This is 10 times worse than any recession. To Tech fans, this is the equivalent of Barack Obama all the sudden announcing he is a Libertarian, and then moving to Liberia. This would be very very very very very very very very bad. Although the majority of Tech fans would like it if Obama moved to Liberia, but all of my other analogies were biblical and unoffensive only to me.

Besides punting more on 4th down and the obvious train wreck that will be his successor, this means no more Leachisms. No more dating advice, pirate outfits, smack talking to reporters, or weather reports. This means PUNTING! Aggies will be dancing in the streets. Longhorns fans will...well, they will still be the same. This means sweating out bowl game INVITATIONS AGAIN and eating shit from the likes of Okie Lite and Nebraska. This means losing to Baylor. BAYLOR people. BAYLOR.

I don't know if I can handle all of that.

Hopefully, this will not happen.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

mini HA HA




It is 3 hours until game time and I have this aching feeling that things may not go my way today.

Worst case scenario in my world.

OSU beats OU but it is moot as we have lost to Baylor. Notre Dame loses to USC by 100 points and fires Weis at halftime. They fly Leach in on Monday morning and by Tuesday afternoon we are looking for a new coach.

If the above happens. IF the above happens! If the above happens?

I will still be A Texas Tech Red Raider fan!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This is what you're getting for Christmas



If they had a BCS for hucksters.

The aptly named Vince Offer would be number #1.

Pop Culture breakdown


I'm so unsatisfied with Entourage. I like the show. I will continue to watch. I'm just not fired up about it. Was it me or did it seem like the season only went 5 weeks? Does anyone else feel cheated?

I'm trying to get into the new cast on SNL. I seem to always miss them the most when they are off the show. Obviously going to be a lag with the election over.

It's always sunny in Philadelphia is greatness.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Norman

It was bad. I typed this long description of some of the things I witnessed but then I realized that nobody really cares.

I will say this. Raze it to the ground and salt the earth.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Here we go again

All hail Leach!

WE who are about to emotionally die on 4th and 4 at our 24yrd line up by 2 in Norman with 3:20 left in the game..... salute you!

It is going to be fun and exciting to be in Norman on Saturday night. There are defining moments in our football program. This is one of them.

Let me just say this. Every time they say we cannot win. We have no chance. We are on the road. We aren't ready for the big time. What they are really saying is..THEY HOPE WE CAN'T DO IT.

If you are a Tech fan

You should read this below. Courtesy of Raiderpower.com

Life gives you stories that are resonant within. Stories like a young shepherd boy picking up five smooth stones and slaying a giant with a simple sling and a faith in God. Stories like a band of brothers completely encircled by German troops in WWII and when rescued by Gen. Patton claiming that they didn’t need rescuing, they were holding their own just fine. Stories about a rag tag bunch of colonies winning a war against the greatest world power of their time because they believed they could. Stories about a 6 seed Villanova defeating Georgetown for the NCAA championship, not because anyone else thought they could but because they thought they could. A runner survives 26 miles to warn his countrymen. A black woman refuses to move to the back of the bus. Stories like these inspire and bring hope because everyone of us is weaker than someone, smaller than someone and faces obstacles of our own.

Remember the advice Coach Switzer gave Coach Leach when he was offered this job? Don’t do it, you can’t win there. That in a nutshell is the world’s belief about our school. You can’t win there. Tech is too remote, too small and too inconsequential to compete. Tech faces too many giants, from storied programs such as OU, UT and Nebraska to programs that are better funded. All but Tech and Baylor in the Big 12 are either land grant or the largest universities within their state. They have celebrated their 100th year of this and that. We weren’t even around 100 years ago. They are big. We are not.

But did Coach Leach listen to his mentor? No, he thought it could be done. He saw the promise. He believed in himself. He went to work. In many ways, success at Tech becomes Coach Leach. The pirates that Coach Leach is fascinated with battled world dominating empires such as the British, French and Spanish. As the pirates are to the British, French and Spanish, so Tech is to OU, UT and Nebraska. I think Leach recognized this when he started with the pirate theme. All the talk of Leach taking this job or that job seems silly to me. Can you see a Pirate becoming a British Commodore? This misfit who never played college football who is still viewed as a nutcase by traditional football powers fits here like a sword in a scabbard. West Texas is the outpost colony where only a pirate can thrive.

So Leach began to build the base and the persona of a team, a team that could challenge. He took them to war and continually crafted the approach with phases such as “swing your sword” and “do your job.” He defied the traditionalist and rallied Raider Nation with his views that his fans were as good as any and that sometimes a pirate beats a soldier. Sometimes he does indeed, sometimes he does indeed. He drilled his team on execution, execution, execution. Now you hear stories of one of the top QBs in the country spending hours in the summer with the best receiver in the country throwing routes over and over again. Doing their job and swinging their sword during the summer of Texas sweat and heat. Why work so hard boys, don’t you know you can’t win at Tech? Listen and you will hear “yes we can” in the whine of the spirals in the Texas heat. “Yes we can” in the smack of the pads against each other. “Yes we can” in the clink of the weights on the bench.

So how will the story end? I don’t know but I can tell you this. I am looking forward to seeing this team go mano a mano against OU and Stoops, the de facto King of the Big 12 hill at their house. Leach and his marauding band of brothers have already knocked down traditional power Nebraska and current power UT, who between them have over 10 MNC. OU claims 7 MNC and beyond OU is Florida, Alabama or possibly USC. Line’em all up I say, those MNC trophies don’t play a position on the field. They all started with zero trophies just like us. If and when this team wins the MNC they will probably have defeated programs with over 20 MNC between them. This team won’t win a MNC the easy way like BYU or Colorado. Nope, this team is going to have to flat out earn it by beating the hell out of the British, French and Spanish of the world. When you come from Texas Tech you know that respect is fought for and earned and the same will be true of our football team. I wouldn’t have it any other way, would you?

Wreck’em Tech

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Baylor fans are happy.



Dave South sounds so sick, I actually feel sorry for him...NOT REALLY!

Good for Baylor
.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Facebook is e-crack.


There is already a time suckage problem around here. Then you add the fact that Sirius and XM merged their programming this week. There is a channel devoted to Led Zeppelin, which in and of itself means there is a God and he likes me. No less than three of my buddies have proclaimed it the "Kashmir channel." HAHA..greatness! Between Facebook, internet poker, Raiderpower.com, and the Kashmir channel, plus that whole work and sleep thing. Is there time for Maggie?

My college football team is undefeated and is consuming my thoughts. I'm happy for about a day after a game then this dread-anticipation-hope-typical tech-is this for real-so awesome to be us for once feeling comes over me. I don't know if i can continue being this happy. It's uncomfortable.

9 more days until kickoff. Do you realize that it has been over a calendar year since the beloved lost a football game!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wreck em horns!


This picture was taken on AVE Q the day before the UT game.
He was probably in a hurry to get to Academy when that happened.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

These are the Good Ole Days




Television pundits, broadcasters, and sportwriters are going over the scenarios of who is going to play in the BCS National Championship Game. These scenarios all involve the inevitable Tech loss. A few grumblers down state are now saying a "whistle" went off in the stands on last weeks final touchdown play, AND that is the reason the UT defenders "LET" Crabtree score. If you listened to any kind of national college football radio show or watched a similar television show you probably heard how OSU was going to beat us. Also, there is absolutely NO WAY we will win in Norman.

I love it all. I especially like all the second string Quarterback fans out here eating crow about Harrell.

Heisman!


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


Sucks!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Repeal the Patriot Act and prosecute the traitors

The Republicans believe that less government is the best government. I beleive this too. The problem is that if there is a difference between what you say and what you do, and then you do that over and over and over again for 8 years then basically lie about that...Then your donecakes. DONECAKES is my new chic word i picked up on internets..try to use that in your everyday conversation. People dig it.

After 9-11, the USA Patriot Act was ushered forth that brought us such things as Homeland Security....blah blah blah..some of you know the dealio.


It would be genius if the Democtratic controlled government did away with Homeland Security, NSA wiretapping, torture, restored the Great Writ, and refused to 'bailout' the criminals that did credit swaps. But I betcha that wont happen. But it was a good dream...if they did even some of those things that would be ideological irony at its best. Vote Democratic and they'll keep Seigfried out of your BIDNESS!

Here is what I bet doesn't get fixed in the next 4 years..hell I'd even go 20.

1.Healthcare will get worse, more expensive, and less accessible.

2.The economy will get worse, Inflation combined with recession equals donecakes.

3.Were not done with racism in this country. Some may say it got better on Tuesday, but I think that after the honeymoon is over it will be much worse.

4. There will be no college football playoff and we will still have troops in the middle east until they run out of oil.


UP with hope DOWN with dope.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Only fans from classless schools rush the field.



Mack Brown, "we don't do that here."

I wonder how many of their alumns on that field in 1990 are bitching about our kids on our field?

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Humble pie



Kudos to this kid. Good sport.

SCOREBOARD


"With the great fans we have, every once in ahwile you have to kick off from your own 7 yard line."
-Mike Leach

Texas Tech

....from here, it's possible.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Texas Tech football Q and A

Q: Who do you think will win on Saturday?

KF: We will. UT hasn't played anybody. They are overrated and they will be exposed as frauds on Saturday night.

Q: WOW! That is quite a statement. Care to elaborate?

KF: Sure. Whoever said 'defense wins championships' is a moron. On Saturday night your going to see actual student-athletes wearing red scoring touchdowns. Maybe 10, but more likely it will only be 6 or 7 touchdowns. Texas is going to score, just not as many.

Q: What is the reason for the rise of Texas Tech football?

KF: Mike Leach could possibly be a half-human, half-omnipotent being. I see we Tech fans much like the Isrealites that followed Moses out of the oppression of the Pharoah. "Pharoah" in this scenario is probably Texas, but could be Oklahoma although we have beaten them 2 out of 3 years.
The other theory is that the world is coming to an end shortly, and God is rewarding our long suffering with some kind of BCS or Conference Championship. I doubt he grants us both, because i think he only votes in the USA Today poll, but something would be nice.

Q: What will Tech fans do if they finally get their elusive championship?

KF: I was thinking that we would probably annex West Texas A&M at that point. Those folks aren't real Aggies. We share a same language and culture with those people and I think its finally time that they become legally part of the Raiterland. I'm not saying that this would be their name, but North Texas Tech has a nice ring to it.

Q: What about you? What will you do if Tech wins a conference championship?

KF: I will be happy for about 20 minutes or so, then I will start bitching about the lack of blitzing on 3rd down, Big 12 referees, and OU paying its players.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Were not in Kansas anymore


The Todd and I drove to Lawrence, Kansas for the Tech-KU football game this weekend. It was a great trip because we won. It was also a great trip because of the KU students and alumni we met. Superp people. The Todd has relatives in Kansas and they were great.


T-shirts we saw in Lawrence.


ALL BLUE.


KANSAS: the birthplace of North Carolina basketball.


Picture of John Brown in classic gun and bible pose with caption that reads: Kansas protecting America from Missouri since 1856. It's hilarious of you're a history dork.


Things I did not see in Kansas.


1. bums

2. Mexican food restaurants

3. trash

4. mobile home communities

5. the KU defense

6. t-shit longhorn fans, although we did see some in Norman, OK on the way back. weird.

7. Allsups burritos






Thursday, October 23, 2008

Top 5 TV shows



Current.

1. It's always sunny in Philadelphia. It's the greatest show since BSG pissed me off.
1b. Entourage. I can't decide if its going to start sucking or if it is still greatness.
1c. Mike Leach Show. With a bullet ^
4. College Gameday
5. Flight of the Conchords. You either get it or you dont.

All-times

1. A-Team. No explanation needed. (when i was a boy, I wanted to be Face, but now I'm older and I realize I'm Murdock.)
2. Star Trek: TNG (I was thinking of being Worf for Halloween.)
3. Cheers
4. Moonlighting (best written show of the 80's)
5. What's Happenin
5b. Soul Train-never mind worf...I'm going as the Dude at 48 seconds below. Instant good mood watching the line dance.


Monday, October 20, 2008

12 step humor




Three months today.

Huttenese



I was going to use Rosetta Stone, but now I think I've changed my mind.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

LOL Internets



the link on the bottom will give you at least 5 whole minutes of fun.


Aggie Look-a-like thread on Raider Power.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Silver wings upon their chest


The greatest football team, with a storied history err storied program, whatever that means..."storied program"????? We moved up to #5th. The Spoiled Children, with ONE LOSS, jumped us. The orange non-homophobic tree-hugging hippie freak- Americans that hate merica beat the toothless land theives this weekend.
WE PLAY the fightin Texas Aggies at Kyle Field. I hope its not a good game, but knowing the situation, it will be good enough to just win.


I'm currently in one of those, 'what does it all mean' phases tonight.


Let me list the stuff I want to do before I get too old.


1. I want to hike the Appalacian trail. Appalashun? Appalation...whatever..its that one. I spelled better when I drank.


2. I'd like to play poker in one of those tournaments on television.


I was also thinking about what things are going to be like here in the good ole USA the next few years with all this financial meltdown ripple effect.


I think people are inherently aweful. This whole depression deal will exacerbate things. What happens when our currency is half of its worth now and nobody will sell us oil? How long will it be before we turn on each other? On the upside, I betcha we all lose some weight! Those silly Wall Street muckety mucks...lookin out for obesity!


These are drastic measures folks.


Western governments are moving to socialize their banking and security trading aparatus to "protect" their solvency. That was last week. This new global economy means that when 100 million loans are bad here in the USA, and they were packaged ...wait...wait..lemme put it you this way.


This whole deal revolves around the corruption of FAITH and VALUE. ......no sorry....thats too complicated.


OK...I GOT IT!



This whole deal is like when your 16 and you get a fake ID and you go to a nasty titty bar on Harry Hines Blvd for the first time.


It's $20 to just get in. Beer is 6 bucks for Keystone. The place has only 3 dancers and one is 7 months pregnant. But you dont care right? Cause THIS IS FINALLY a TITTY BAR! Yep, here ya go...heres my money. Sure we'll take the champanette! The night goes on and on with three songs from Winger and ghey ass Bon Jovi. Finally, you realize that not only are you not getting laid, but your also broke and just plain DUPED! Your first instinct is to say, "Damn that was fun! wasn't it?" But really it isn't, and you know it.


Perhaps that was a bad example. Back to faith and value. Until "they" can restore that, no amount of bailout will be suffice.








Wednesday, October 08, 2008

New Math

I get some satisfaction out of seeing the drawn faces of despair on the trading floors of Wall Street. I do not feel sorry for them, accept for the one or two honest ones there might be around. I always knew that "new math" was going to lead us to ruin. I've been sayin it since the 4th grade. I wonder how many of them will lose their house?

Bailout? Worst piece of economic legislation since the "stimulus" deal. There will be more to come. Once this thing starts, historically it ends with complete collapse of financial system. (See Weimar Republic) It is unavoidable. Not such a bad thing in my estimation. A good purge might teach us all a lesson. Unfortunately, this lesson is going to hurt everyone very badly for a long time.

An old Clayton Williams quote about rape, which is always inappropriate, comes to mind. Barring that misstep, I think Obama has got this election thing sewn up. He might not want the job by January.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Attention BRAD DODD!!!!


I do not have your email and I lost your phone number. Please drop me a line. (this picture has nothing to do with anything.) I have a INTERNETS serious BIDNESS question for you. It's not about midget porn this time...I swear.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Movin on Up!




AP Top 25

USA Today Coaches poll




The Mormons leapfrogged us even though we both had bye weeks. We just need to find a way to win a game in Manhattan, KS this weekend and not worry about this hooey. Although, it is an interesting experience thinking about the possibilities.


1.I think Alabama is the best team right now.

2.I just do not understand how Florida is losing games with that much speed and talent.

3.We have 4 Big 12 Conference schools in the poll to play yet on our schedule (UT, OU, KU, and Okie Lite)...... NO Missouri however, which is a huge relief. We do not match up well with them.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tha LOOOOOVE BOOOOAT!





Since its been two months since I have been in a bar, I thought I would post a picture of the best bartender of all times. Isaac from mofockin Luv boat.

Yeppers kids, TWO MONTHS. NO DRINKIN. NADA. dry. NO smokin either.

I highly recommend it to anyone.

I feel so good that I have my super oldies TV themes Time-Life collection cranked up to 11 on my ghetto blaster.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Has anyone seen this boy?




Last seen on July 21, 2008

Whereabouts: UNKNOWN


FRIDAY HAIKU

Donkey elephant
Uncle Sam whorin out debt
Chink say "U PAY NOW!"


FRIDAY HAIKU 2: Electric Bugaloo

Meat Bidness story
Owner to casino go
No make twenty one

Caddyshack Haiku

Losing at track make
Seventy five not fifty
you getty no coke

Thursday, September 18, 2008

As the meat office turns





I'm training a new assistant manager. The motel owner where we "house" our transient employees called to complain about our new hires' family. Evidently, he has his wife, her brother and his wife, and a friend and his wife. So that's 6 adults by my count in one room. The motel owner also stated that they have 2 cats and 2 dogs. That's 10 heartbeats in the same hovel. JEEZ! The owner was gracious and said they had a day to move out.

I confronted the newbie about this predicament, to which he replied, "we canint afford no double room or nothin like that."

I said, "You should look into getting a house."

"WELP, what the fuck are they so upset about? Aint like they aint gettin thare money."

"True but they own the place and they want you out today."

"Thats bullshit, we paid, hell in Mississipi they caint do that shit."

"Welcome to Texas. I would start east of MLK on your house hunt."

Monday, September 15, 2008

This Day in Aggie Football

I am linking to this blog because this is the greatest compliment to Texas Tech athletics I have seen in the history of forever. PLEASE READ IT and Enjoy.

What a Difference Ten Years Makes

Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel



This morning I wake up to Lehman Brothers bankruptcy and a sell off of Merrill. I DO NOT feel sorry for these folks ONE bit. They should not have lent all that money.

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I DO NOT feel sorry for these folks one bit. They should not have lent all that money.

This house of cards all comes back to people buying more house than they could afford. I DO NOT feel sorry for these people one bit. They should not have borrowed that money.

If the store by my house that puts people on payment plans for 20 inch chrome rims goes out of business....

there will be some happy people in crap cars with nice wheels.









Moanday





This just in...Steve the Pirate just called and said, "hey man...the fookin dude from Pink Floyd is fookin dead man...its all over the radio."





I said, "bummer...hey man...Maggie (this is my dog) is beeping in...I gotta go."





Sure enough, the fookin dude from Pink Floyd is dead. Maybe he caught a sneak peak of the new New Kids on the Block video. The promo is like every 5 seconds for the new album on sports channels. Someone needs to let their ad agency know that those ought to be on the Estrogen network.





NEW kids on the Block, had a bunch of hits

What could be worse than a New Kids reunion or the dude from Pink Floyd being dead?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHuGG_FsC20


Friday, September 12, 2008

Look a likes

I know Nosing I sees nosing





Mohammad's Heroes on Al jazeera coming this fall


Aggies get ready for hurricane IKE




not really, this is an old pic from Rita in 05. I hope Ike isn't too bad.

Eye Heart Internets

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Led Zeppelin Thursday aka Dude it's Kashmir




If you got 5 minutes to waste, which you do if your on this blog, then waste it.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Country opry


If they get dove hunting on Wii. I'm buying it. I have a bruise in the shape of West Virginia and the diameter of a soft ball on my shoulder. It does not feel as bad as it looks.


I shot 7 boxes of shells and killed 7 dove and 1 pidgeon. That is not very good. The new shotgun MUST be defective.


Meat office joke of the week:


Do you know what a wife does after she gets back from the battered woman's shelter?


The @#$%in dishes if she knows what is good for her.



Meat office drama of the week:


Our hero, let's just call him Steve because that is his name, has a new project. He is trying to help a 22 year old woman named Kristina get out of living at the crack house with no electricity or hot water. Basically, Steve wants her to move in with him. I reason that trading crack heads for one pot head might be a step up. I'm encouraging the union. There I go again, playing match maker. Steve laments to me every moment about Kristina when he is in my presence. It is a beat down.


There is more. Evidently, Kristina has 2 children in CPS custody and is trying to get them out. According to Steve, she has chosen to stay at the crack house because if she moves in with another man and changes addresses the CPS will not give her the children back. AT least that is her current excuse to Steve. I said, "I think she is just playing hard to get."


Week 1 of the NFL


The Cowboys have yet to kick off and I already feel the disinterest. Old habits do die hard, so I guess I can watch it and take a nap.


I like it that the Manly man song Everyday is like Sunday by Morrissey is used to promote the manly manliness of watching football.


Politics the way I see it


Sarah Palin is hawt. No doubt this has been pointed out already. She is kinda like a Warrant video. Republicans are smart....It's like hey, check this chick out in roller skates and forget that this song errr i mean our policies really suck. Speaking of Palin, Winger has a song called Seventeen and Palin has a pregnant daughter that is Seventeen. hmmmm....connection?


Conjugal Visit Update


Some of you may recall my band Conjugal Visits. If not, please feel free to read up on our history here. We have been in the studio writing and finishing up on an album originally called After Execution. However, it became clear that as a great band we were missing something. The Who had Tommy, The Beatles had Sgt. Peppers, and Pink Floyd had The Wall...etc.etc....the bottom line is we needed to do a rock opera that could be a cool album that could be made into a broadway musical then released as a motion picture at some point when we needed the extra cash.


After much discussion and argument, we decided to not make a rock opera but something completely new. We realized that we could be the first band to create a "country opry", as we coin it.


Its about an evil doer named Kody Teith from the fictional state of Okrahoma that uses bad music, truck commercials, and ghey cowboy hats to control the minds of the people to promote war. We are hoping that not only will it sell as a protest piece, but also find an audience with the towel heads "over thare" in Arabia that will enjoy it as a stereotype of Americans.
The album is called For Unlawful Kountry Tunes







Friday, August 29, 2008

Excuses, excuses, at the meat office.

This is just from this morning.

1. "I have to go to school and pick up my daughter. Theys says she got head lice.", says guy with permed mullet.

2. "Man I got a blowout in Lorenzo, you want me to come in tommorrow instead?".......I reply, "No, just get her fixed and come on in."..."hmmm ohhh okay. lemme do that."

3. "Sorry Im late. I took a wrong turn and now I'm by the airport." says the warehouse manager that has worked here for 7 months.

4. Blowout in Lorenzo calls back, "I kaint make it thare til later. They say they kaint get to me til later." Frustrated I say, "Well, just take tommorrow off too then call me on Monday and I will let you know if I need you to come in."

Monday, August 25, 2008

Preseason breakdown


This is a blanket analysis which covers all my favorite teams

It all depends on different things if we are going to win this season. It depends on if our offense scores when it has the ball. It also depends on whether our defense can stop other teams from scoring. It depends sometimes on whether our defense can score. Occasionally, it comes down to kicking game and special teams.

Coaching can make a difference. Play calling, organization, and preparation are keys to success. Often player execution can get overlooked, but it is a major factor in the success of a season. I figure if we have all of that, then we can win, especially if we are better than the other team and score the most points.

Predictions

Decatur Eagles: State Champs

We're due. We would win the whole deal for sure if we would go back to the cool "D" emblem with the sinister eye in the center of the D.



Texas Tech Red Raiders: National Champs or at least Big 12 Champs or maybe just a good bowl game.

I will will into reality with my Vulcan mind trick I learned at Scout camp.



Dallas Cowboys: Super Bowl Champions

Jerry is negotiating with Usain Bolt.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Only floss the teeth you wish to keep.


I was on Liberally lean and that guy does nothing but tackle the serious issues. He is like the Donahue for the 21st century. I use to go there every day about 16 to 24 times and then I realized it was e-crack. So now I only go there once or twice, and that is only when I'm on the internet. Moderation.

Funny thing about our new Employee applications. One line in the education section says COLLAGE instead of COLLEGE. I shit you not. I will provide "vicual proff" of this some other time as I am violating several Hippa or whatever laws and storing these valuable treasures for my tell all masterpiece on the Meat Biz.

Speaking of the Biz. We had a guy pass out in his motel room over the weekend. Evidently, he tried to drill out his tooth with a drill from Home Depot. After he woke up, he went back to Home Depot and got his money back because he said it, "wasn't the right size." I informed him in the staff meeting this morning that there was this new thing in town called a dentist. It brought the house down. Oh that witty collage manager is "fookin funnier than hell." The Los Angeles Times gives my staff meetings 3 and one half stars....

If and when I get a YOUTUBE channel, I can promise it will be the bomb and the shizzle.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

T


The reason for my absense? Why so long? What gives?

This is easy. I was transported through time by the Tralfamadorians to Tralfamadore. And so it goes...then I got briefly detained by the state of Texas because I got caught up in the Mormon cult thingy in Eldorado...but then this judge decided to uphold this old document called the Constitution of the United States of America. You may of heard of it, it used to be all the rage in the tabloids on the late 18th and early 19th century before more impotant things like Brittany's crotch and celebrities adopting foreign children of the sweat shop workers that make there $800 signature handbags and perfume. Where was I?

Oh yes, they said I had to go to rehab, but guess what I said? I said no. Then I said it again. But after I said it like 400 times a day. I just didn't want to hear it anymore. So now I just...I just sit around mostly....AND

I work back at the meat office.

Just yesterday I laughed all day long because we had a new guy come in and fill out an application. The question on the standardized form reads, Have you had any tickets or accidents in the last five years? If yes, please explain. New guy puts. "Ya." Then puts, "no enshorins". Of course, he went to "MHS" as he states on application. I hired him. As they say in Animal House, "we need the dues."

I have gone through a change. (nothing sexual, although I might be willing to learn iykwimaityd.) Whatever I would have written on here would have been serious and sometimes uplifting just meaningful stuff....and NOT the shmarmy sarcasm that you the single reader come to expect on this forum. They say you should fake it until you make it. But I never really understand that.

NOT the shmarmy sarcasm that you the single reader come to expect on this forum


I dont like hypocrites, especially when it is me. So this is the time in life to point fingers and keep score. The only rules are that you have to be in front of mirror to play. Got that? I know what your thinkin. There he goes again.....or man is that fucked up...or I'm glad that's not me. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on the where and how of your circumstance of perpetual motion in time, you too can transport. So if you made it this far down without getting bored or moving on to bewbies.com or hateliberaltexans.org or doublefistedcashwhoringpoliticiansthathavegaysexatchurch.gov then I will let you behind the secret curtain of OZ.


I quit smoking over two months ago, then just for shakes and giggles, and believe me I was shakin......... I quit drinking. That was July 21st and despite the sentence structure and all over the place above, I haven't had a drink since.


SO. What have you guys been up to?







Monday, August 04, 2008

Sunday, April 06, 2008

This logic should be familiar.

Final Four fictitious quote:





“I’d like to thank Jesus Christ, Vishnu, Mohammed, and the Dali Lama for my performance tonight. I thank Jesus cause hey….it’s Jesus..know what I’m saying. I thank Vishnu for my under the backboard layups cause I think he helps me switch arms in mid air…hes has a lot of arms that Vishnu. Then my peeps are always saying that I can bomb threes from mid court like Mohammed can bomb. Plus, I been kicked off this team like the Dali Lama got thrown out of Tibet, cept I got to come back…maybe if the Lama could play ball the Chinks would let him back on too.”

And starting at power forward, a 5’6 senior from Lhasa, Tibet, his holiness the Dali Lama.

Random ESPN pundit “it all comes down to who can make shots…if the Lama can dribble penetrate the Carolina D and kick out to his monks for some good looks around the arc, then I look for them to advance.”

And another random ESPN pundit, “I spoke to the Lama about this game at the shoot around on Tuesday and he answered some of his critics that say he incited a riot on his own team…he said that’s all behind them now and they are focused on winning by non-violent means.”

By the way….

Our new goat ropers we recruited to play football in Lubbock are even bigger than the goat ropers we recruited last year. I got a chance to go to Tech practice the other day and I can report that the DEFENSE…yes, I said defense…looks good.





After Monday, all we got left is the Masters. I love the Masters. Tweet tweet…tweet tweet…thwack…clap clap clap….que the soft piano music and the gentle voice of Jim Nantz…

I also love the golfer introductions at the first tee…(thick southern drawl) “and on the tee from Key Biscayne, Florida the (insert Championships won and year..this may take a while)…TiGUH WOODS…clap clap clap.



After Sunday night…all that is cool in sports is over until August…cept the Red-Black game.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

BEES

I put most of garden in the ground yesterday. I used an aerator I rented from Home Depot. Cost about $50 for 24 hour rental. The rest of the plot and rows I prepared by hand. The onions and garlic I put in the ground about 10 days ago. Yesterday, I decided to gamble that we would not get another freeze here in the Hub, so in the ground went 3 varieties of peppers, 4 varieties of tomatoes, sweet corn, green and yellow squash, spinach, okra, cucumbers, and 2 varieties of beans.

I have herbs left to plant. Everything but the tomatoes and peppers I did from seed.

All I have left to do is flowers. I am going to plant a great deal of flowers that are organic....yes, organic. You see, I have been fascinated by the reports of the decline in honey bees. Fascinated and concerned. From what I have read, the bees do better with a variety of pollen producing flowers. There is also some concern that the genetically engineered plants aren't very healthy for bees. There is some concern that they aren't very healthy for people either.

Gasoline...higher food prices...bee decline...even higher food prices equals time to turn lemons into lemonade.

If you aren't aware, honey bees pollinate a great deal of the fruits and vegetables that we all eat.

Here is what I'm thinking. I am going to build a bee habitat.

“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.”

-Albert Einstein

Monday, March 31, 2008

Slaughterhouse Five

On my trip back home from Decatur, I listened to Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut on audio via CD. (Ethan Hawke does an amazing job on this.) It was great. I am definitely going to experience more books in this way.

Decatur

What Decatur really needs is a Barnes and Noble and a Costco and the cycle of Planoization will be complete. PROGRESS indeed!

Ponderosa Bar B Que

If your ever out Dickens way, be sure and grab some of this grub. Good people and excellent authentic Texan cuisine. Were talkin if you knew this was your last meal this is what you want good.

To whomever was doing the Seymour Lady Indians softball radio broadcast Friday night,

You guys need to bottle that up and sell it nationwide. Good stuff.

Guthrie bypass

Thank God it is almost done! The damn traffic in that town rivals the 405 in L.A. PROGRESS indeed! (I think "they" saw what happened to Austin in a decade and "they" aint gonna have that shit up in Guthrie by God.)

No Country for Old Men

I was having an almost perfect weekend. Old friends, family, pleasant and good times. Great ride there, great ride back, everything is all good. So I'm sitting with my locale buds at the gettin beer place. We are winding down and close to going home as we are discussing movies. I say Michael Clayton was cool. blah blah... I am Legend..blah blah.. Then outta nowhere K says, "Dont watch that No countree for ole men movee...it sucks!"

I say, "O'rly" (I am a huge fan of this movie and all that is Coen Brothers....as if you can't tell.)

K says, "I like that one dude with the cowboy hat and the monee...then all the sudden hees deaad..don know wha happen..what thee heell is tha?...and tha ending aint no ending."

Now R is looking at me and I am giving that look back that says this fucking guy is an illiteretard ....even though he is entitled to his opinion... even though it totally sucks. You know what I'm sayin?

Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday all over the place

-Business is good. I thought that making more money would make me happy and as it turns out, I was right. Like a rolling stone in reverse going uphill, now that i have something to lose I don't want to lose it.

-Helmut got back from his Ireland-Wales-Scotland trip. He said that the hookers over there are hotter than the American hookers here. Further proof that the United States is falling behind the rest of the world. Thanks for the Guinness hat:)

-Ron should get an Elvis jumpsuit and fat shades and just live his life walking around like that.

-Texas Tech baseball radio broadcasters are terrible. SO far this season, they have spent most of their time explaining how much "insider" information they know about Tech athletics. Which is great if that's what gets you off. As for me, I would like to know THE SCORE and the situation updated pitch by pitch....i.e. Baseball game announcing. I told their boss last night that I would still listen. I am not going to name names here, but a reliable inside source at the radio station confirmed just last night that they are training a chimp and a three year old to take over next season. For $139 dollars you too can get the rest of the scoop.

-The Big Dance-March Mayhem-Madness-Mania update. If Texas makes it to the final game , and Davidson wins tonight but loses Sunday, and UMass advances to the third place game of the NIT, then I can get in the tie breaker for 4th place. Damn Duke screwed me.

-Jericho got canceled AGAIN. I got into the show 3 weeks ago. Basically, the show is about a big company staging a nuclear "terrorist" attack on the U.S. and using this to take over the government...blah, blah, blah....that'll never happen. Hey CBS...what happened to all of the Hispanics? Did they die?

-Finally, Kinsey is the coolest person in Lubbock County next to Ron if he indeed decides to spend his life in an Elvis jumsuit with fat shades.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Suit UP or Shut UP!

Liberally Lean

(dont worry wisereunion.com...I'm bringing my own rope...I'm coming home just to see you:)

Please pay attention to the anonymous soldier comment. No one can be for certain how authentic it is, but I believe this is one of our own in Iraq, and it gives me great patriotic pride to know that this person wears the uniform and is unafraid to state his (or her) mind. May you get home and live a long and happy life!


As for the rest of it. Please read and enjoy this classic by John Conlee.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Hey Ron!

Funny or Die

Green Team and Ron Burgundy's interviews are cool. Will Ferrell and anything with the little girl named Pearl is genius.

Monday, March 24, 2008

I'd Rather Eat Arby's Out of an Old Man's Butthole

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

I'd Rather Eat Arby's Out of an Old Man's Butthole

Love that money..yow!

Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, "Jezus," we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome striking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKDC2iBQTYg&NR=1

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Cruisin down the street in my 64








Shatner's birthday


There are two kinds of people in this world. There are Chuck Norris fans and there are Shatners. I'm a Shatner.

There are distinctions between the two. Chuck Norris peeps watch Conan(which is ghey)...are toothpaste tube roller uppers, and make up retarded comments about the stock market and economy. "The Feds going to have to bail us out again."....whatever Dude...Usually, but not always...the Norris peeps majored in something completely boring in college like Accounting. They also have Creed songs on their Ipod and think its cool to put the headphones to your ear and make you listen. Ya and also they still say 'brah' and 'wasssss up' and put their arms in the air during football games 'dont leave me hangin...BRAH.'

Shatner has followers. In fact, if Shatner started a religion (which he should) it would be bigger than Elvis. Especially after Shatner intervenes on the Earth's behalf in 2012 and stops the Mayan apocalypse, which I read last night is being covered up by the government to avoid a global panic. No PANIC HERE....Shatner is on it!

Want more proof? Who is the better cop? Walker: Texas Ranger (which is totally offensive to real Texans and real Texas Rangers by the way) or T. J. Hooker. Just look at the opening credits of each show and hands down its Hooker.
Who is the better badass? Some movie about death karate or Star Trek? There is no contest. Shatner does the babes, whups the Romulans and Klingons ass at the same time, and still has energy left over to 5 movies. When will the Walker movie be out? Exactly.

Norris does a nice job of pitching home gyms, i will give him that...still not even half the salesman Shatner is. Priceline.com versus 12 second abs...See?

This post was supposed to be about William Shatner turning 77. He does today.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

My Saturday in Lubbock

First, I went to the mall EARLY. It was great not having to wade through the throngs of illegals buying faux gold longhorn chains and pimping their cell phones at the cell phone pimping kiosk. I shit you not people...they gots that here!

I was done at Dilliards by 11:30. I was lucky to find the one polo left that didn't look like it was designed by the rap group Kriss Kross. ALL I want is a blue shirt, small red horse on pocket...not that hard. It was until i got some help. Thanks to the coolest salesperson I was able to get my dealio and get out before the Goliad reinactment took place...ya, ya...i know..I being back handed...so what.

I watched the Longhorns beat the land theives in basketball with the Maggie dawg. She is slowing down but doing great.

I met up with Plecker at Bash's about 3:30. I had a bloody mary and taught a 20 something Co-ed how to operate a vintage jukebox. I played Jump by Kriss Kross. It was wickity wickity wickity wack. I love Bash's. It is the ultimate in people watching. I stayed there quite a while. Plecker took off for a kid birthday party. I felt bad for him. Kid birthday parties are the suckage....unless your the kid.

About 8pm, I met the other three Democrats in Lubbock County. Very good times! The mom, daughter, boyfriend trio was full of great stuff. We hit it off immediately and talked for hours. Then they convinced me to go to a house party in Tech Terrace. It was quite a scene. Kids drinking beer and picking guitar. I got hit up for a beer run. I felt like I was back in school for a while. We were the only people dancing. I was the oldest male there.

The night ended sorta bad. I was dancing with the daughter and boyfriend got jealous. So they had a little spat but nothing major. So we all left. It was too bad for me, I really liked that one.

I had a Josie's juevos ranchero burrito on the way home. Somewhere in all that I managed to win a trivia game and beat my alltime high score at Galaga.

Gary Stewart is the greatest honky tonk singer of all time

Tuesday, February 26, 2008