Mayor of Lubbock?

My friend Bob Plecker thinks I should run for mayor of Lubbock. Let me rephrase that, when Bob Plecker is drinking beer, he thinks I should be mayor of Lubbock. I can't lie, I would like to do that job. But before I would agree to even run for that office, I would need some kind of platform or ideas to put forth to better the biggest small town in America.

Idea #1-Mayor of Lubbock gets $2 pints in all bars in town. (this one seems selfish but trust me when I state this, we need a mayor that knows the pulse of the people and the bars here are a great reflection of the general welfare here.)

Idea #2-All city employees will be required to speak with a heavy Texan accent while at work. I have no good reason to do this, I just think it will be funny.

Idea #3-Make the McDougals purchase a small Carribean island and 2 Jumbo jets then deed it over to the city. Then citizens can petition me on how they got screwed over by them and I can make arrangements to get them out of town for some vacation. Will bill em for the gas.

Idea #4-The city will build a new Buddy Holly museum worthy of the man's achievements. Then we can get the Depot back as at was circa 1989.

Idea #5-Rock and Roll festival that kicks major ass. And if this means cededing the Jones for a week to get a beer at the show...then SO BE IT. If Tech doesn't like it they can move to Lazbuddie. I probably cant make this happen, but you have to admit that would be great. Warm Summer evenings...cold beer..STONES, U2, WILLIE!

Idea #6-HELLO....ITS WINDY HERE EVERY DAY! Make LP&L build wind farms until we generate enough power to sell to the Yankees living along the I-35 corridor. Just think, LP&L slogan could be....so good, we pay you to live here!


Platform- I know, I know, I know....it's the cameras stupid! Here it is. How about we take all of the cameras and send them to Afghanistan. Then the army can put them up all over the place there to help find Bin Laden. Just because they cant find him in eight years doesn't mean I have to spend the rest of my life being watched every waking second. This is Lubbock, Texas and there is no need to live in a police state that makes East Berlin look like Club Med.


Other than the facts like I have no real experience in city administration or politics and I have strong disdain for bureuacrats. I do have a promise. I will not screw it up as bad as the last three or four mayors have, and I will not take a bribe unless its a really huge check and I can do it legally.