The Dirt Doctor and the funny stuff you like to read here

I am preparing for a big garden. I was actually doing the plan today and researching some stuff online when I ran across The Dirt Doctor.

http://www.dirtdoctor.com/newhome.php

Things that surprise me about this site.

1. The Dirt Doctor is a Tech grad.

2. He has been on the radio for some time...IN D-FW. I haven't been paying attention.

3. The Forums are lively with discussion, which is nice because I have conflicting advice on gardening so far.


Kingfish Garden Items

Vegetables:

3 varieties of tomatoes (roma, beefsteak, and something else)
squash
corn
okra
black eyed peas
spinach
carrots
broccoli
onions

Herbs:

basil
oregano
3 types of hot peppers (Serrano, Anaheim, and something else not habanjero)
bell peppers (green and red)
garlic
cilantro
chives
mustard greens

I WANT A MINIATURE DONKEY!!!!!

I wonder if it is against city ordinance. I wonder if I can get a farm exemption. I wonder if the donkey will tear shit up. What good can come of this, other than having a mini donkey around. Probably wont happen, but I am thinking of making an addition to our small family here. Maggie (thats my dog) is getting older and I think another dog might help keep here on her toes.

I have my heart set on either a German Shepherd or a Boston Terrier or both. The problem is more dogs equals more problems, such as feeding and care. But nevertheless, I am jealous of my friend Todd. He has a Boston Terrier named Yoda. I call him Yaz, because I am a Red Sox fan and I think all dogs of this breed should be named after Red Sox baseball players. Somebody cool out there has a Boston Terrier named Curt or Manny or Popi. I might go with Ted. If you dont get it, then you just dont.

As for German Shepherds, we have always had great luck with this breed in my family. In fact, Maggie is half German and half Border Collie. Would kill to have another dog like her again in this lifetime, but its hard to exceed perfect. With that thought, I may just stand pat with the old Maggie Dog and stop with her after she is gone. Boy I hate to think about that, but one day there will be no more Maggie. I always wondered how much money I would have to cough up to get her cloned. Much cheaper to get a taxidermist involved......AND...

Why not get her stuffed! After all, people get animals stuffed after they shot them. Weird how they never lived with the animal or even gave it a name, but instead shot it and now have it prominantly hung over the fireplace. Nothing wrong with that, right? Then why would it be wierd to have a much beloved family pet stuffed? "Yep, that's old Scraps over there...we got him posed that way cause he loved to piss on the geraniums....and over thare's Fifi...damn poodle loved to hump the chair."

What's up at the Meat Office?

Other than getting two trucks repo'd and firing 6 people, nothing much. I hear the Christmas party was a huge success (out for personal reasons). Success being defined as only two folks were strung out on hallucinagenic and psycolotrophic narcotics. Other than that, there was nothing more than your average copying your ass on the Xerox type banter and fun. In abstentia, I got a plaque that said TOP SALESMAN. I got it the other day and I was so proud of myself until I found out that 8 other people got the same plaque. I wonder if that would look good on a resume?

Got a phone call from a guy that was looking for work, so I booked him an interview.

He asked, "Do you accept felonies?"

I said, "depends on what kind..is it like a murder or rape type felony? or an average type theft felony?"

"Which one do you accept?"

I said, "well tell me, do you have a driver's liscence?"

"no man, they takes it away cause I aint paid up my child support."

"hmmmm...well, I am sorry for the confusion but I thought it was clear from the ad that we needed driver's."

"ya well, I just wanted to make sure."

"Thanks for coming in..good luck"

In my mind I hear the voice of Lumbergh....UMMMM YEAH OKAY.

The AD in Pravda said plainly, Driver's wanted...work today get paid today..etc, etc.