My job cover letter.

To whom it may or may not concern,


I am looking at switching careers. I want high pay, control, and underlings to do my bidding. I am still holding out hope that Haiti will call on me to become their ruler. I always wanted to live in Hispanola. I would also like to get a gig on a radio show that paid. A stipend might be nice to have every now and again. Enough about that, just wanted to let you know I'm not a stiff without goals.

Anyway, if you want a semi-middle age white guy to tell you what to do and are willing to part with your money to make that happen, I am your man. I love people. I know how to speak English. I can make a speech. I can also think for myself. Most importantly, I have mastered email, looking interested in staff meetings, and playing hookey from work. I am apt at conjuring fake illness and always find that subtle remark to soothe your inhibitions about my lackluster performance. Unfortunately, I cant fill any needed racial quotas, but can be labeled "GAY" for the right price if you need that. Other than the mental, I am relatively disease free. I know how to wear a suit but would prefer pumps, shorts, and Mexican tuxedo.

If interested please submit a resume request and what you would like to see on it.

Thanks,

Fish