My El Guapo is cigarettes!

"I suppose you could say that everyone has an El Guapo. For some, shyness may be an El Guapo. For others, lack of education may be an El Guapo. But for us, El Guapo is a large man who wants to kill us."

-Lucky Day from 'Three Amigos'

Cigarettes can kill you. A statement we have often heard in our lives, yet for smokers its simply disregarded. I have been smoke free for 22 days today. I can feel my body slowly regaining strength from 10 years of on and off damage. It took two trips to the hospital in a span of 8 days to finally convince myself to put them down for good. How focking stupid is that?

I quit cold turkey, but not really. I was in the hospital shot up full of drugs and chemicals to 'find out' what is going on with my heart. I remember laying prone and being left behind by the nurse wheeling me to my cat scan. I just layed there pathetic, overweight, pissed off, and alone. You just either get it at that point or ya dont! I didn't really make a decision to quit, I'm just not going to smoke anymore. There is a difference between the two. The term quit indicates, at least to me, you might do it again at a party or bar or every morning after ya get outta here. Thats bullshit and sucks donkey balls! When this smoker simply says, not decides, but SAYS, hey screw this I'm not going to do this, its done.........ITS FINALLY OVER. Thats it and thats all there is to it. I may go down eventually, but it damn sure aint going to be from that.

So if you smoke I got some sage focking advice for ya. Dont buy a bunch of patches, gum, or hire some hack ass hypnotist......and whatever you do DONT QUIT! Just dont smoke. You either get it or ya dont. Dont beat yourself up about it. Overcome and conquer your El Guapo, then enjoy the hell out of it.

Dogs, Thanksgiving, and musing.

I learned along time ago that a mirror to the human mind, soul, and being is seen through a dog. If you truely want a perspective of your total self, you simply need to seek the company of a good dog...all things will improve at that point, including the dog.

My first dog was Faith. We lived together in Lubbock, two blocks away from Jones Stadium and the Texas Tech campus. Faith was a German Shephard. One of my first memories was playing with Faith and her newborn puppies in her doghouse in Lubbock. She protected me and my family until she died in Bridgeport a few years later. Faith was a great dog and I see alot of her today in Maggie and Natasha.

Thank you for dogs, Mike Leach, and the Spread offense. Thanks you for the multitude of bowl victories and a deserved trip to the sweet sixteen. Thanks for letting Bobby Knight win, have fun, and teach again. He digs it, and we all like it alot.

Above all, thanks to my family, friends, and selective few co-workers for making life good.

Lets keep on striving to be the ball.

Excelsior,

Kingfish

REEF Flip Flop's Rock da hissle!

Check this out, It was 84 degrees yesterday in the town of the Cow. I was skipping work again and was trying to find some new 'f' me pumps' (flip-flops, sandals, etc.) on clearance Clarance. Well, I stumbled on the greatest invention since Al Gore's internet...no shizz!

That's right kids! The pumps have a beer bottle opener on the SOLE! How much would you pay for such a convienence? For a Texan, this is damn near like hitting the lottery and seeing a bowl game. I have been an avid Reef 'f me pump' fan for over a year. Reefs have always been right on.

GETCHA SOME!

OH Boy...this should be fun! Thats right kids...its the Enron Cotton Bowl! January 2nd, i will be skipping work for a wonderful morning in South Dallas. I know we got our asses handed to us on a plate when we played the spoiled children there...but damn Zebbie was a freshman. At least the Cotton Bowl is in a decent neighborhood and there wont be any Sooners around.

I'm not too sure who we are playing. Obviously, we think its BAMA. It really wont matter. I'm sure this will be just like the Clemson and Cal games. They think that there Conference is da shizzle. They think their all-star prep 10 star recruits that cant spell are gonna romp our Big 12 Texas kids. Well....let em eat donkey balls! Clemson got a big plate of donkey balls in 02; and how do you think the Cal liked there balls? Bad question for that school. Anyways, this aint my daddy's TEXAS TECH!

So buy yo tickets faithful and stay tuned cause da Kingfish is going to have a throw down befo, afta, and afta de game....ya dig dat? I know I says it twist cause i understands efectuals! Maggie (my dog) has agreed to be the designated driver. I figure it cant hurt since nobody in Dallas County is a real Texan anyways.

Any Bama fans want to party and have a good time, ya came to the right place. Texas Tech is known in these parts to be the College of Knowledge but we also know how to treat a guest.

Gimme some love peeps cause in my hood its.....BROS BEFO HOS!

Happy Ramahanakwazamas!

Look out sportsfans! The miners are taking over. I'm not sure what conference they are in but I heard on FSEP-foxsportselpaso they are for reals dis year. Like won a bunch of games. This one mexican guy in the Inn of the Mountain Gods Casino was like totally intimidating me.......NOT..........I took dat foo fo at reast ten dorrar. He had on a Miners Jersey and kept asking, "hey when are yall gonna put on de miners game man." I was like about to cry laughing.

Next year I think the Red Raiders have to play them in the Sun Bowl. That will be kinda cool. Drive in Friday. Eat some real Mexican food, then off to tailgate Tejano style. But you know its going to be at least as bad as going to play UNM in Albuquerque. Same type of pre-game hazing from people that look like orange and blue UMPALUMPA (Sp????jeez)

Anyways they suck donkey balls until they prove otherwise. The vaunted Red Raiders will somehow pull it out...hopefully. So if your down with the travelling to the game, here's the shizzle.

This package is friend priced at $500 bucks per person. If you act early (Tuesday befo we leave) and front da cash early then its only $350. Includes game ticket, gas to and fro the HUBaplex w/ Helmut...cowtown if ridin wiff me, motel in Juarez (2 nights biotches!), and tailgate accutraments. Only 6 seats leff. Drop me a line on my emails if ya wants to go.

keep it flat?

Is it part of the Burnt Orange Media Conspiracy to not keep Lubbock flat? Or maybe the Aggies want to tilt the stadium so they have a chance at beating the Red Raiders. Or at least make it harder for Tech to sodomize them with a goalpost.

Your right Fight Crub...I do not hhhhhaave Spades!

Is this not the coorest movie ever made about poker? Forget Poker....Rounders is totar greatness! Fight Crub is burrshit compared to this. I rearry dont rike those dudes that spout of the shizz on fight crub. Fight Crub is gay. Rounders is not gay...no way man.

Fight Crub, first you cant tark about it. Its a rure...totarry! Thats just crazy man. SO I'm supposed to think this coor but not say anything? And another thing, Brad Pitt courdn't hord Markovichs jock! Okay maybe he courd beat his ass, I'm not derured, but stirr, John is a way better actor than Brad.

Supporting cast you ask? How about Matt Damon...he's coor. What about Gretchen Mor huh? Totarry hot...more on dat another time. What does Fight Crub have? Nobody reary. If Fight Crub had Burt or anyone coor from the Dazed and Confused cast then different story. Rounders is the best. If your rooking to improve your poker game more, then I wourd suggest Coor Hand Ruke.

This brog rike totarry rocks-tribute to Burt on first day.

Burton Reon Reynolds Jr. He's rike the baddest mo fo to ever grace the sirver screen...you can dig this right? Anyone who is not moved to tears after he throws the footbarr in that guys barrs in the first Rongest Yard movie is rike totarry freakin stoned man.

Check out that jacket man...rike totarry bad ass..armost rike Cobra Kai bad ass! Members Onry with 'Bandit' on the side! HERR YEAH...chicks be arr up in dat. OH and they were. You know it! Sarry Fierd was rike hot for teacher compretery. Okay man. stay corr.

Harry: guns up or just raising?

This guy will totally jack yo shit. His name is Harry. If you see him, approach with some kinda trendy microbrew bullshit beer cause it makes him feel special.
He is a lobbyist and a Telemundo fan, even though he speaks little to no Spanish. He claims he invented the terms 'jazz hands'. He loves to rehabilitate liberals, cripples, and communists. Hes quite a keeper ladies.

Me rike totarry kickin ass

Helmut repose with beer in morning

First time-long time

Welcome to Keep Lubbock Flat. Just got back from the beloved hubaplex dis weekend. It was da bomb, the shizz and all dat.

My friends in the Hub are totarry coor. More on dis after I set up this damn thing.