35 things to do

In no particular order.

1. Octoberfest in Bavaria.
2. The Masters
3. Rome
4. Gilwell
5. Jamboree
6. Philmont Trek
7. Sail on the Ocean (not a cruise)
8. Australia
9. Alaska
10. Washington D.C.
11. Publish a novel
12. Get married
13. Have a kid
14. Hike the Appalacian Trail
15. New York City
16. Win a major poker tournament
17. Final Four
18. World Series
19. Super Bowl
20. The Louvre
21. Own a Restaurant
22. Have cabin in Ruidoso
23. Ski Jackson Hole
24. Japan
25. Hawaii
26. Brazil
27. World Cup
28. San Francisco
29. Black Hills
30. Canada
31. British Open
32. Kentucky Derby
33. Olympics
34. Big 12 Championship Game
35. National Championship Game

Syllabus Week-God bless Keith Jackson and Jack Dale.

Classes begin today on the hollowed grounds of higher learning on the South Plains today. Too bad I'm missing out. Wish I could be there to skip the first day of school with the rest of the smarter kids. Just kidding. I would have been at class for sure.

College is the greatest achievement of human beings on the planet.

My alltime College football announcing team would be Keith Jackson doing play by play, and Jack Dale doing color commentator. My sideline reporters would be Elmer Fudd and Sylvester the Cat.

Keith Jackson

Jack Dale





In case you dont know, the college football season kicks off Thursday night, followed by a full schedule of games including the Texas Tech Red Raiders. The pretty ponies from Spoiled Methodist travel from Dallas to contest the beloved. I anticipate a favorable outcome on the new carpet. I cant wait to see it, the Goin Band, the alumni center, and all the friendly faces. The freak fieldgoal can now be put to rest and avenged. 17 weeks of bliss. Thank you Jesus.

Shopping for Fans

The Weather in Lubbock

Enjoy.

untitled post

in the absense of my original set of nuerons, I wonder what might have been if not for their demise. A great quote is, 'the fear of loss is greater than the need of gain.' that is how I remember it but I am probably off. what happens if you conquer that fear?
disco dancing is fun, but not as fun as falling 80 feet into a pile of fresh snow.
a really good warm piece of pizza made with fresh ingredients, a movie you haven't seen but know is greatness.
a cold beer, steak, and sleeping soundly on a spring evening and night with the windows open and clean air.
taking a shower after working so hard your muscles ache.
chewing two pieces of gum because one was good but two are worth the 6 seconds of bliss.
the moments of pure taste when the cheese isn't hard and cold and too hot.

Revenge

The way you make Nachos and other random thoughts.

This weekend it was hot.





Schneider couldn't close.


You can tell alot about someone in the way they make Nachos.



Exhibit A aka The perfectionist. Whomever made these nachos must be hell to live with. Notice how each piece of chicken is on each individual chip. This person has alot of perfect around them and some fucked up kids. Thanks for playing.


Exhibit B aka The hippie tree hugging mayan. Ok i get it, pile it high with chips and cheese lest we forget it doesn't have meat. FAG!

Exhibit C aka The drunkard. This is obviously made in a bar. Its chips, cheese, meat, and beans on a big ass plate. There is no portion control because the cash is pouring into the bar. Good stuff.

This one is simply called The Victim. If you bought this, you are truely lost. Even if you are a haughty. This is beyond bullshit. Check yourself into the metal illness center immediately.

Beerfest

I swear a little orange leprechaun is following me around and stealing my life for good screen play ideas.

Snakes on a Plane comes out today, Beerfest in a week.

THEN, football season starts the following week. Soon, peace will break out in the Middle East and I will win the World Series of Go-Fish.

Volkswagen TDI

I bought this used car yesterday because I can no longer afford to pay the high cost of gasoline and maintenance on a 4 door 4 wheel drive American piece of plastic. It was a good twenty years of driving American trucks and SUV's, but I have to bow out. From now on its German made deisel or hybrid. Some of my friends, one in particular that makes bad personal decisions an artform, advised me that I would be sorry. Some of the dirt roads need extra ground clearance I was given as an example of why I would have regret. Well, let me just say that 45mpg on highway and 37mpg in city are reason enough. Besides, I regularly go "off road" and the dirt roads I pass are almost Roman in quality. I owned a 4 wheel drive for last 6 years and used it once. I filled up those vehicles numerous times, lately averaging about $400 a month in gasoline. That is too damn much.
I predict before Bush leaves office we will see $4.25 gasoline prices and wish $2.50 was back. I quit caring. For all I care they can make Georgia howl, I will still be able to get to work without busting the bank. I cant believe that people are buying Hummers and other guzzlers. The truth is most Americans are beyond broke. They are three months away from the streets. I am not stupid enought to blame this on a president or political party. Inately, the whole thing is a joke and we are all to blame in some way.
I dont want to get into the environmental argument, although a point can obviously be made. My point is, quality and superior engineering will eventually win out, despite the intrusion of government in the marketplace. You would think that US automakers would have learned this lesson in the 70's during the gas crunch. They have nothing that gets over 40mpg. I remember sitting in a hot car in August waiting for gas as a kid. Trust me, this is not something that we want to see happen in American cities. Talk about soccer mom fights. Even the Crips and Bloods will be scared.
I apologize the rant sucked today.

Rock Chalk Jayhawk

This is Tim Flattery. This is his story.

I wonder if this student set off the Supper Doppler Nexrad 'gaydar' in Lawrence.? Can you imagine how suprised the alumni of KU are this morning? I expected this in Austin first, not in Kansas.

Sometime in the future, I predict a Hillary Swankesque offering in some medium of entertainment.

Match Game Webpage

Match game wall papers

I take requests..footloose the masterpiece

I am not gay, I am perfectly comfortable admitting that kevin bacon was and is an attractive person. this celebrated yet oscarless actor has run the gambit of roles but few are greater in social relevance than footloose.
footloose on the surface is a remade james deanesque plot put smack central in the pubescent sheltered bible beating mid west. its signature scenes are rife with florid movement and girating dance. but that is not what this film is really about.
this movie is about sex, the duality of man, and the sensual tones of Kenny 'effin' Loggins. his driving beats on the soundtrack make the fiat accompli. overlooked is kennys performances here in favor of the cult classic Caddyshack. but make no mistake Kenny puts the cream in the gravy iykwimaityd.
the story told to america with this film is screw the preachers daughter, get drunk and party, and dance on the bug and you too can be cool. that's what I got from it.
a lot of people don't know this but a reunion was in the works called screwloose or footloose 2:electric bugaloo but negotiations never got started due to lack of project concept.
would have been cool to see williard played by Larry the cable guy, the preacher played by benny hinn, and the preacher daughter chick played by cher. of course the circle would be complete with Will Farrell.
looking back over 20 years ago I still think about the cool ass ruffles of the tuxedo shirts and swanky dance steps to hits like shalamars 'dancing in the sheets' or the ever charging 'shakin' by Eddie Money. the money man really wasn't in it. anyway, quincy's Jack Klugman should have been the preacher instead of the seemingly ever annoying presence of John Lithgow.

If you've never seen this scene, here is your chance.

Too bad Gregory Hines died young. I love this scene from Tap because Sammy is in it. Awesome. The actual cut from the DVD is ten times better. The plot is actually good. I dont recall it being released in 1989, probably wouldn't have cared if I heard it then. In any case, this film was Sammy Davis Jr's last. In my opinion, the good thing about television these days is some good old fashioned dancing is coming back. Tap, ballroom, and the good stuff of salsa. All we need now is for Castro to die and inside of 10 years that island will be the jewel of the Americas for fun and dance.

Quincy rules!

Quincy M.E.

I cant help it. I have to blog about Quincy. The things that Quincy would pull out of peoples noses. The hair samples. Quincy was Trapper John and Jewish Sherlock Holmes all in one. The quick witted Quincy could run circles around the modern day CSI posers. Shit, I dont ever watch CSI because I have seen Quincy. That Jewish wunderdoc played by Jack Klugman didn't need a computer! They didn't have personal PC's. Not even the Vic20 was out then. Quincy was the smartest doctor on 70's TV, hands down. He also had this cool Japanese sidekick played by actor Robert Ito. Couple of ADD driven questions pop up here. You think Ito and Pat Morita had to read for the same parts in Hollywood? Is there no limit to the useless thoughts my brain can come up with?

Anyway, Quincy PEOPLE. Bomb shizzle! The Quints always had the hawt ladies as well. I now present Quincy M.E. I dont know what the M.E. stands for.

Quincy. I like typing Quincy and saying Quincy. It makes me feel cool. If I ever win an award on an actual award show, I want to come on stage to the Quincy theme music...SO COOL!

Rule Britannia!

English football fans sure know how to belt it out.

Today is also the anniversary of the signing of the Atlantic charter, the thread that led utimately to NATO.

Yesterday the co-operation of the two countries once again bears fruit, so it seems. From the reports I have read and seen on television, some potential air terrorism was avoided. I cant help but feel some happiness. I dont know why because the source of joy is that these people were mostly Pakistani muslim British citizens. None of them were of Anglo decent so it seems. That is interesting.

Good job to those involved in snuffing this out, if these Muslims are indeed guilty of this conspiracy to commit this act of terrorism. Which brings me to my thought of the day.

I noticed when the English sing their national anthem, "God Save the Queen", most interject the phrase, 'never surrender' into the first stanza. I love that. I would like to think that comes from one of Winston Churchills' speeches during World War II. Maybe it does. Even though that anthem is foreign to Americans, it doesn't seem foreign to me.

When I hear them singing together, I think of how proud and fortunate I am to speak English, read English, and think English.

While my sitar gently weeps.

Last night I was watching PBS. Dont ask, that aweful chick that does that lame show Strangers with Candy that got cancelled on Comedy Central has a movie out of the same name and was on Letterman. Anyway, I got a chance to watch the Concert for Bangladesh.

It was good. I did some research about it on Al Gore's fancy internet at Wikipedia.com.
Would have been cool if Lennon would have showed without Yoko.

Thats the backround on last night, now here comes the rub. You know what happens during a really cool PBS show. They cut it off and go to some nerd turd in a tie hawking CD and DVD's of the event for $400. Hello people...if we had $400 to give to fucking PBS we would be doing something other than watching PBS! Gas is $18 a gallon and you want how much for a concert laden with electric sitar? IT AINT HAPPENIN.

But then it occured to me, there are alot of people that are much nicer and kinder than me in the world, and they are at home watching and getting out there over charged credit cards to give. I imagine these people to be the kind of people that live in an upper middle class neighborhood. They got a nice house, two nice cars, and the trappings of middle class poor. I say poor because they probably have debt up to their eyeballs and have to work two jobs. If one job is lost, everything goes with it in three months.

Which brings me to this random fact I learned from the nerd in a tie. He said that the Concert for Bangladesh was the 'model' for concerts and movements like 'We are the World', 'Live Aid', 'Chef Aid', and 'Farm Aid.' Wow, PBS is educational after all. Will they have 'Soccer Mom Aid' or 'Bloated demasculated outsourced unemployed Aid'? Some of those jobs done that finance Suburbia can easily move to Bangladesh I'm thinking. In fact, some already have. There I go thinking again. Why didn't they outsource the PBS call center? Now thats an idea to cutting costs. You PBS suits need to help us out a little. Bring the prices for donations to get crap down!

Last thought then I done with this: Isn't it weird that PBS would use a concert for another charity at another time to get money for charity now. Hmmm.

By the way if you want to give to PBS, here is a link. PBS.org

If you want to read a great book about outsourcing and have been under a rock for the last few years, read The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman.

Scheduling and Prognostication.

My picks for the Big 12.

South Division
1. Orange Bloods
2. Texas Tech
3. Land Theives
4. Baptists that cant read
5. Farmers
6. Okie Lite


North
Who cares? OK, Nebraska.

the two road games to Norman and Boulder are going to be tough. Both of those schools will treat Tech like the Super Bowl. I think we finally beat a down Texas team in Lubbock but cant hold water in Norman, even with the losses they will be good come November. We own the Aggies.




Win Sat., Sep 2 Southern Methodist 7:00 PM ET
Win Sat., Sep 9 @UTEP 9:00 PM ET
Win Sat., Sep 16 @TCU 5:30 PM ET
Win Sat., Sep 23 Southeastern Louisiana 7:00 PM ET
Win Sat., Sep 30 @Texas A&M 7:00 PM ET
Win Sat., Oct 7 Missouri 7:00 PM ET
Loss Sat., Oct 14 @Colorado TBD
Win Sat., Oct 21 @Iowa State 1:00 PM ET
Win Sat., Oct 28 Texas 2:00 PM ET
Win Sat., Nov 4 Baylor 2:00 PM ET
Loss Sat., Nov 11 @Oklahoma 1:00 PM ET
Win Sat., Nov 18 Oklahoma State 2:00 PM ET

Keanu Reeves : Point Break revisited

Perhaps years from now when the embers have long died in the twilight from our existence, an acient civilization will discover our remnants. What will they think? Well, I think its safe to say that if they get there hands, tentacles, or whatever appendage they have at their disposal on the greatness that is the movie Point Break. I believe they will trace the DNA of the dust that is Keanu Reeves and bring him back to life after witnessing this performance. That should give you comfort. It certainly gives me mine.

Sure, you can argue that Patrick Swayze is equally dominant and you would be wrong. Patrick was at his zenith in Roadhouse, not in Point Break. Although his character, Bodhi, is the macho searcher thief we all seek within ourselves. Besides his best scenes were with a mask on thus tainting the performance.

The mask however did not stop Keanu. Keanu has had more popular and demanding roles that subsequently fell to him after this gem was released in the year 1991. The Matrix and the movie with the bomb laden bus were also cool but had none of the kaleidoscope of dialogue that marked this triumphant cinematic achievement. If you have the means, I suggest you get two copies. One to view and one for the time capsule. Who knows, you may be the preserver of the essence that will inspire a galactic Renaissance.

I'm getting rich!

Weekly earnings report for Keep Lubbock Flat.

Amazon.com associates, I have made $0.

Donations for beer, I have made $0.

Hapless journalism meets hapless politicos.

Aug 5, 10:37 AM EDT

U.S., France OK U.N. Mideast truce pact


AP Photo/DAVID KARP
AP VIDEO

AP Middle East Update
World Video


UNITED NATIONS (AP) -- The United States and France reached agreement Saturday on a U.N. Security Council resolution aimed at ending the fighting between Israel and Lebanese Hezbollah guerrillas, U.S. Ambassador John Bolton said.

An official with knowledge of the talks, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the draft calls for a "full cessation of violence" between Israel and Hezbollah, but would allow Israel the right to launch strikes if Hezbollah attacks it.

"It does not say immediate cessation of violence," said the official, who spoke anonymously because the draft had not yet been made public.

That appeared to be a major victory for the U.S. and Israel. France and many other nations had demanded an immediate halt to violence without conditions as a way to push the region back toward stability.


What is the point of publishing this? Associated press has to be joking, but you cant really fault them. Newspapers are buying this.

The story begins with a nice teaser, but then you have to realize that neither the Untied States or France is fighting in Lebanon., and it also contains the fatal hollow phrase, "U.N. Security Council resolution". Okay, does everyone see that? The second paragrarh is the height of saying nothing. If I were to write a paragraph bereft of information or credibility, this one would be my model. Let me re-write it for you here, or better yet let me quote Ferris Buellers Day Off"> instead.

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

So the article drones on about nothing some more and then says, "that appeared to be a victory for the US and Israel." Well NO, the fucking rockets are still raining down. My point is, the press that is not in the region, and the diplomats not in the region are trying to waste your time and money. They successfully wasted mine.

I couldn't wait to see this show every day.

Starblazers.

I should have become a motivational speaker.

I am going to die, I will expand on that but first.

I realized today, if i am fortunate and things work out, I can retire in a few years poorer than I am today. That is of course if I dont get shot by a 6 foot African American male in his late teens to early twenties wearing baggy pants and a bandana. I also need to side step West Nile Virus, Bird Flu, Mad Cow disease, and Ebola. If I take exquisite care to exercise my body and diet properly I might dodge cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Doubtful, colon cancer is almost a certainty now because of gender and I already have hypertension. I can overcome that if I detect it early enough, thats what you say to yourself. By the way, I also have to avoid becoming a traffic fatality or freak accident victim. If I do all that I can probably get out alive for retirement.

I dont think 'retirement' in the sense of going to Florida, playing golf, hanging chads, and running for complex president seems ideal to me. I would rather keep being of use and value. Then when I can't do, I want out. Like I have stated before, I would like to have a second twenties again at about age 65. Maybe go back to college and pledge a fraternity. Give back in a real way rather than simply fade into Elks Lodge meeting hell. Live and experience rather than be what your supposed to be. All I need is money and a shitload of it because at the rate of decreasing value; yada yada yada I have ADD.


How hard can it be? This is America, right! Anything is possible. I am not going to sit here a type sunshine up your ass. Thats not how I roll. But I do think it can be done. It's just not going to get done at the present clip of events. It damn sure isn't going to manifest itself. I feel like the duality of Private Pyle and Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket. At the same time I trying to hide my fat assed ineptness and insecuruty, I am yelling,

IF GOD WANTED YOUR ASS UP THERE HE WOULD HAVE MIRACLED IT UP THERE BY NOW...GET THE FUCK OFF MY OBSTACLE COURSE!

What was I saying?

I am going to die. In one month I become 35. I divided the years up so far this way. I've been an idiot for about 20 years, since I was 15. I was a good kid before that. What do I want to be like for the next 20, assuming that I dont befall the shit above, and what do I want to really do? Then further, after the next 20 do I just re-evaluate then or should i 'map' it out now? Probably useless to 'map out' 40 years when I can figure out what I want to be. You got to do that first.

Then Map.

Seize the day, then sieze the wine, then whine about the days ceased.

All of that is good constructive "THOUGHTS", but there is really nothing new, revealing or motivating. I know me. I am not really going to change. There is no sense in getting all riled up about nothing because the real deal is, nobody is going to recognize their lives 5 to 10 years from now, maybe sooner. The way that the world is and the reactions in our country lead me to believe a massive bloodletting is in the offing. Without getting into specifics of the how, when, why, or conspiracy. It just is going to happen. Inevitable as inevitable gets.

I could be wrong. Peace may break out in the Middle East. Africa may discover Agriculture. MDA may find a cure. Louisiana may become a beacon of honesty. Texas Tech might win the National Championship. I might find a woman to live with.

I could go on and on, but only the wars will.

Bob Stoops, "people knowingly broke NCAA violations."

Oklahoma Head Football Coach stammered his way through his press conference this afternoon. He started by reiterating that he dismissed two of his football players for, "knowingly breaking NCAA violations." Despite the obvious fruedian slip, which he repeated twice, Stoops said his decision was "cut and dry."
The cut and dry being that, "I didn't know that they were working in the fall." The players worked at a dealership called Big Red Sports/Imports, the same one that Adrian Peterson returned a Lexus to in March. A violation of NCAA rules. Stoops also made it clear that he nor anyone in the University knew until their own Complaince staff discovered the violation. He outlined how the players are all informed in meetings about the rules, J. D. Quinn and Rhett Bomar therefore, "understand rules, knowingly break them." When pressed as to the status of these players, Stoops said they were "gone for good."

The press corps was relatively easy on him until they started asking about how many cars from local dealerships do the Oklahoma coaches get to drive. He said that the people that own local dealership that employed his players were, "great people and I mean that." I'm sure Rhett and J.D. can vouch for that, after all they were paid for hours not worked! Stoops then got defensive and said that he was not a professional expert on how to answer those questions. Could have fooled me, he was a poor mans Clinton at times. It is Oklahoma after all. He said, "I wasn't part of the investigation." After Stoops went to practice, the Athletic Director was asked if he knew that NCAA investigators were looking into this months ago he replied, "no".

My favorite statement from the maligned coach was, "we will not tolerate this at the University of Oklahoma." The cheating or the getting caught? When asked if he would forfeit games from last season, Bob looked as if he was about to be run over by a bus.

Bob also mentioned the OU players enjoyed an evening of karoake last night. Today is the first day of practice.Maybe they sang this.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me.

Stoops said that Paul Thompson would be his starting quarterback. Best thing he said all day.

Boomer $ooner!

Morris Day and The Time

OKgo doesn't have a thing on The Time.

Jerk Out



The Bird

Sisters, ya'll be cool, Let you body get loose, you aint too fat to fly.

Jungle Love

Sooners better than sanctions later.

I have noticed that the athletic department at OU has become, dare I say, responsible. Well thats what they want you to believe. Dont get lost in the obvious setback to their program. They did what they did for the best interest of someone other than those two players. Bet on that.

Over the past year, OU has gotten rid of its basketball coach and today, some troubled prize football recruits. More on that later. First, I applaud the departure of Coach Kelvin Sampson. What luck for the OU athletic program to rid themselves of that whiner. He was a blight on the Big 12 Conference and at one point in his tenure had a zero graduation rate, worst in the nation.

From a 2003 report from AP;

Butler posted the best numbers and Oklahoma had the worst. They play each other Friday in the East Regional semifinals.

Butler, a small private school in Indianapolis, graduated 86 percent of its basketball players and all of its black players over a six-year period starting with the 1995-96 season. Oklahoma had a zero graduation rate, although the school challenged the criteria as misleading.

The real reason its called OOOO U.

From this Techsans perspective; Kelvin Sampson represented the tradition of sleeze in Oklahoma athletics that was simply passed from Barry Switzer to him. Indiana will regret that hire for sure, another time another discussion. The jury was still out on Coach Bob Stoops, that was until today.

I have a sneaky feeling that Bob is covering his ass. Obviously, I cant prove anything, but I can sure sniff a dead skunk from a long way away. I smell something aweful in Norman, and it aint shetland ponies.

I wont be surprised when the rest of the story breaks, if it does, that there is a rampant problem of booster fraud. They aren't called Sooners for nothing. Here is Wikipedia's take. OU has enjoyed a hammer lock on their local reporting, that appears to be over.

The sad truth is that most of fans that actually graduated from Oklahoma get a bad rap from the OU fans that didn't. We wont get into that description because there is no need. It is rare when the football fans from the Greatest State are all rejoicing the misfortune of a rival. Today is that day and we haven't played a down yet.

The last thought is simply, OU sucks.

Ambrosia

I couldn't find 'How much I feel' on youtube.

Little River Band

I am on an Easy Rock kick today.

Bomar is out at OU!!!!

newsOK.com








Quote of the offseason

The release says an investigation by the university found the two players were paid to work at a private business and were paid for hours they didn't work

NOT OU...NAW. I dont know if I can believe this. The great University of Texas at Norman has finally decided to do a little self policing. Next thing you know they might start graduating basketball players. This is truely a sign of the apocalypse.

OK GO video

This band is awesome. This video is a masterpiece.

Caught between the longing for love...

and the struggle for the Legal Tender.-Jackson Browne">The Pretender by Jackson Browne














One of my best friends got fired yesterday from a lockstepper Republican Political Action Committee. Bummer man. If you ask me nothing could be better for the Jayman. He is on his way to the unemployment office in Austin today. To help with the effort to free Jay of his financial burdens, and keep him in the lifestyle he is accostume to, I am starting a blog for him (he doesn't have internet access). My plan is to do a daily log of his agony, laziness, and general dismay. It is my hope that Jay can find his true inner "DUDE" through this trying time. If you are the kind of person that wants to give to an educated/able bodied/talented/cigar smoking/armed/beer drinker, and all around good guy with anger management issues...please take the time to pay your respect here at Lifestyles of the Poor and Pathetic.