How bored are you, an even better question is how bored was I to come up with this epiphany in traffic on I-35? The thing that sucks is this is the second time I have had to write this tonight. SO I hope and pray you enjoy this. Let me know.
Fistfight: Lumbergh, no contest. It might be a better fight between A. C. Slater and Lumbergh. Lumbergh has a slight reach, speed, and strength advantage which comes up huge in fights over 5 rounds. It wouldn't go that far because Belding is a pansy. Belding may get saved by the bell, but he cant beat comittment to excellence of Bill Lumbergh.
Debate: Belding wins. Sure, Lumbergh would shock and astound with the onslaught of 'hmmm', 'yeah', and 'i dont know about that.' It's just that I've seen Belding damn near strip Lisa Turtle naked with his vicious tongue lashings. I know that Lumbergh has patented the great, "Friday is Hawaiin shirt Day.' arguments and orations, but Belding rebuttals are epic, indefensable, and prima facie biotches.
One on One Basketball: Belding in an upset. Belding takes Lumbergh down to the block and punishes him with elbows and sheer weight. Beldings pump fakes and opidopes are too much. Lumbergh glides into some easy lay-up drives, but he gets broken down on D late and Belding triumphs.
Fashion: Lumbergh comes back huge. Sure Belding has some nice Cosby sweaters but he is a broke ass principal. Despite the efforts of Turtle, Kelly, and that dish rag whore Jessie, they cant overcome the Initech cash of Lumbergh. Its hard to top a man that has the confidence and know-how to wear suspenders and a belt at the same time.
Interpretive Dance: TIE. Lumbergh shows off his pop n lock routine to Beastie Boyz "Intergalactic" and brings down the hizzle. Belding doesn't panic and stays within his artistic range. The Bayside elder struts his stuff with a cozy ribbon and ball routine to 'Darling Nicky' by Prince.
TIE BREAKER: goes to a popular vote by comment on below. Voting will close at 8pm tomorrow.
The winner advances, loser goes home.
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3 comments:
Mmmmm yeah, I'm gonna have to go with, mmmmm, Lumbergh. He had me at the "O Face" portion of his dance. Hands down...with flare.
Hmmmm... I vote Mr. belding off the island. Why? because he's funny and needs a laugh track to back him up. Lumbergh wins for me because he's funny but doesn't know I laugh AT him.
If by chance he's stolen my vote, I'll ask for it back before I'm moved to the basement... then I'll burn his office down.
-Patrick "Milton Waddams"
Lumbergh wins! Wow what an overwhelming response!
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