My home stem cell research has gone awry. Maggie, my dog and test subject, has figured out how to operate a television remote. She now comes into the room and changes the channel, which just annoys me. I guess the religious right was right about this after all. God is punishing me.
Last night, my friends all gathered around the dead ficus tree trimmed with care. Since I am unemployed I decided to replace the pole with a dead tree. We all had a great time, or at least I did. Mad props to my a number one soul brother Brad Dodd. He and the girlfriend of BD came through with an awesome gift for the household. Poker Chips! BEST GIFT EVER...thanks mano!
As many of my readers know, I dont celebrate Christmas like a good white boy should. I dont go to church, and I dont thank the cracker Jesus for leaving my home full of crap that doesn't fit and a huge credit card bill. Christmas is pagan and no matter how many hail mary's ya say, its still pagan. I got duped into celebrating this holiday as a child. I think its a great day for a child, by the way, because it teaches them to expect relatives to show up with gifts.
But hey, I'm a hypocrite too. I'm no better than the dude that goes to church every Sunday for business networking. I am as low as the single girl that joins a cult to meet guys. I am the semi-reformed Christian that attends Christmas parties. I admit it. I think Christmas, despite its derisiveness, is fun. I go home to see my family because I love them. I buy them crap because I dont want to be embarassed about not bringing gifts. In fact, I will spend almost $1000, TODAY, to not feel that pain.
The true Christmas 'miracle' is that everyone lies to themselves about it. The worst part about Christmas is the lying. Lie is defined as, 'Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.' Gifts are wrapped, stories about a person that doesn't and never existed are put forth, and people stress. I remember being told that Santa Claus didn't exist as a kid, it was a horrible day.
I think its completely brilliant in a way. Christmas is the ultimate joke. Think about it...there are still people out there that believe that this is the celebration of Christ birth. And if you are reading this and feel upset, I think you should research the history of the Roman Catholic Church before you spout off a retort of hate. I'm right. I think its brilliant because over half of this country justifies this Roman orgy as HOLY! The so-called Protestant churches of Christ that historically opposed this pagan Roman ritual suddenly and overwhelmingly embraced it in the late 19th century. WHY? Just follow the money.
Well friends and family, I guess we will go on with this bullshit. I dont really see any other alternative other than total self banishment. I definately dont have the courage to deal with that. So I'm off to self ownage today. I call it my hypocrisy tax, because that is exactly what it is.
Have fun, be safe, and eat a pig or cow.
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