I started riding a bike again...here's an action shot

The only embarrassing moment was getting heckled by 4th graders while they passed me on their Super Big Wheels.






I am pre-starting my fitness program. That means the exercise without the diet. The great thing about my hacienda local is the bike trails link up the entire city...Awesome! Riding a bike is so good for you, plus it is less stress on your knees and joints. The thing I think is funny is, as I go by on my bike, people stare at me like I'm a circus freak. I'm damn near 300lbs, 6'4 of big ass Texan, thats probably the explanation. I scream obsenities in Italian if they look at me weird, and they run off. I'm great with kids.

The bikes these days are made with lightweight material, and I'm not so sure how they are going to hold up to the stress. In fact, today I was cruising through my first 3 miles when the pedal crank came off. I tried to repair it but no dice, so I had to hoof it back to the hacienda. I was remarkably calm and happy the whole walk back. I got home, ate a burrito, okay i had two, then I hopped in my truck to retreive the stranded bike.

After I got my bike, I went back to the bike store and the 20 year old sales girl was great. She went to the back and brought out a new bike. I refused to again buy the warranty because I figured I was going to wear out this one in less than 90 days and need a new one. See I'm not going to buy a $1200 Bike just yet. I know that window for being competitive on the world class level is closing, so I probably need to stay with a cheaper ride.

Below is what I'm aspiring to be:

Cotton Bowl Countdown: 6 days til tailgate

The Crimson Tide is coming. Their fans actually have a decent reputation, maybe even a smidge better than ours.



Here is a schedule of events.

Saturday, December 31st- New Years party at the hacienda.
Sunday, January 1st- Black eyed pea feast.
Monday, January 2nd

6:15 am-get out of bed...I will already be awake.
6:17 am-Get in shower, crack open 1st beer of the day...Remember what the Rayfes says, "you can't drink all day unless you start in the morning."
6:29 am-Get dressed
6:31 am-Ice down beer..load in truck.
6:40 am-depart with crew to Dallas.
7:40 am-arrive in Parking lot.
7:41 am-crank up the Goin Band FULL BLAST...set up tailgate.
7:47 am-Just do it.
9:37 am-head to Cotton bowl
10:12 am-Kickoff! (Throw tortillas!)
Halftime-Meet Helmut, Harry, and crew for halftime beer whilst Goin Band does their tribute to Sly and the Family Stone.Stone music
The rest of the day will obviously depend on the outcome.

That is all, carry on.

Maggie..stem cell...dead ficus...f'n Christmas!

My home stem cell research has gone awry. Maggie, my dog and test subject, has figured out how to operate a television remote. She now comes into the room and changes the channel, which just annoys me. I guess the religious right was right about this after all. God is punishing me.


Last night, my friends all gathered around the dead ficus tree trimmed with care. Since I am unemployed I decided to replace the pole with a dead tree. We all had a great time, or at least I did. Mad props to my a number one soul brother Brad Dodd. He and the girlfriend of BD came through with an awesome gift for the household. Poker Chips! BEST GIFT EVER...thanks mano!

As many of my readers know, I dont celebrate Christmas like a good white boy should. I dont go to church, and I dont thank the cracker Jesus for leaving my home full of crap that doesn't fit and a huge credit card bill. Christmas is pagan and no matter how many hail mary's ya say, its still pagan. I got duped into celebrating this holiday as a child. I think its a great day for a child, by the way, because it teaches them to expect relatives to show up with gifts.

But hey, I'm a hypocrite too. I'm no better than the dude that goes to church every Sunday for business networking. I am as low as the single girl that joins a cult to meet guys. I am the semi-reformed Christian that attends Christmas parties. I admit it. I think Christmas, despite its derisiveness, is fun. I go home to see my family because I love them. I buy them crap because I dont want to be embarassed about not bringing gifts. In fact, I will spend almost $1000, TODAY, to not feel that pain.

The true Christmas 'miracle' is that everyone lies to themselves about it. The worst part about Christmas is the lying. Lie is defined as, 'Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.' Gifts are wrapped, stories about a person that doesn't and never existed are put forth, and people stress. I remember being told that Santa Claus didn't exist as a kid, it was a horrible day.

I think its completely brilliant in a way. Christmas is the ultimate joke. Think about it...there are still people out there that believe that this is the celebration of Christ birth. And if you are reading this and feel upset, I think you should research the history of the Roman Catholic Church before you spout off a retort of hate. I'm right. I think its brilliant because over half of this country justifies this Roman orgy as HOLY! The so-called Protestant churches of Christ that historically opposed this pagan Roman ritual suddenly and overwhelmingly embraced it in the late 19th century. WHY? Just follow the money.

Well friends and family, I guess we will go on with this bullshit. I dont really see any other alternative other than total self banishment. I definately dont have the courage to deal with that. So I'm off to self ownage today. I call it my hypocrisy tax, because that is exactly what it is.

Have fun, be safe, and eat a pig or cow.

I totarry freakin rure up in this mutha!

Aw yes! Its that time of year. Happy Ramahanakwazamas and FESTIVUS! My Festivus bash is tonight kids. If you didn't get invited, too bad. Grievences will be aired and strength will be tested.

BTW, if you show up and didn't answer the evite...your GHEY!

In all honesty, I have no clue how to do a Festivus, so were going to wing it. If we have a good time that will be the Festivus miracle. So whilst all you losers with families and what not are sittin around rubbin out Grandma's bunions.....think about us having real fun insulting each other.

West SIIIDE White BOYZ BEYOTCH!

"Outside the box"

I'm sure everyone is familiar with this saying. If not, consider yourself lucky!

Whenever someone uses this term, please immediately classify this person as an idiot. They can't think of what to say or what to do, so this is the bullshit they spew in hopes of siphoning off your brain power, so they can pawn it off as their own.

Here's my response to the 'box people.' Feel free to use this in general conversation.

Where is the box? I wasn't aware that I was in the box? I doubt if I was in a box willingly, I would be inside of one with you. Okay, so lets just say hypothetically, you do know what that means, right? Okay, lets say that we are indeed inside of THE box. If we get out of this box, then what happens if we land in a more confining box?
So the 'box' people get confused, so to combat you they confuse you back. They change the word box into sphere.

THE COMFORT ZONE

The worst thing the box people can do is institute the 'comfort zone' lecture. We should have all heard that one by now. My idea of the comfort zone is my hacienda, Lubbock, Ft. Worth, and Wise County. I have expanded my comfort zone as far as i really want to. The way i see it someones zone is their own damn business.

I have a friend, and to protect his reputation will just call him Ron Grant. Ron's comfort zone revolves around the Cities of Ralls and Lubbock, Texas. That's really it. I have been with him to Austin before, and I think that did him in for about 10 years. Ron goes to work, drinks with his friends at 'THE BAR', and goes home. On weekends, he visits his mother without fail. Ron is a happy and good man. So imagine your Ron and some idiot tells you you need to venture out of your comfort zone. Well If I'm Ron I'd say why dont ya get out of yours and have a shot of Jaeger!

On second thought, I have decided to reverse myself just a bit here. I think it is wise to get out of your box, sphere, sleeping bag, or whatever. I think anyone that is intent on having a full life experience just naturally does this. My problem isn't with people venturing, it is other people bullying them to do it. My corrolary to this is simple. Venture forth on new experiences on your own volition. There is a difference between being inspired and being bullied into being falsely inspired. Its just like the scene in Office Space whenever Lumbergh is saying and pointing to the sign outloud, "IS THIS GOOD FOR THE COMPANY!" Everyone is uninspired and falsely clapping, except that one brown noser. Well, i doubt there is any inspiration without an expectation of personal gain.

Which brings me to my point, you cant inspire others to change unless their is incentive for them to help make change happen. It seems like a simple concept that is too often ignored in the work place. So whenever you hear 'crisis' remember the government is about to take a big chunk out ya behind, and whenever you hear 'box' remember someone doesn't really want to think, they just want you to do it for them. Its up to you to decide if their is any incentive in it worth it. In a crisis you have no choice.

Old South pics 1990!

I believe are theme that year was "Shrouded by honor." My fraternity or 'order' was a unique conglomeration of some of the brightest minds to spring from the bowels of the bible belt. We knew all about cultural dyversity before we could even spell it. I just dont know why we only had white people in our group?

I remember all the fun we used to have when I was pledging. Getting thrown through doors, beaten by 2 or 3 'brothers' at the same time, and getting tobacco juice spit in your eye. Wouldn't it be great to be young again?

I love it when people tell me they were in a fraternity that didn't haze. Yeah and the pope wasn't a Hitler youth.

My favorite Al Sharton quote.

Its also the only one I know.

With all due respect to you brother Simpson, we didn't clap when the acquittal of Simpson came for O.J., we were clapping for Johnnie.

Eulogy for Johnnie Cochran.

The Chronic!

This is the shizza!

Things that make you go hmmm.

No its not an expose on the C&C Music factory. But have you ever noticed how the current dictator looks like Charlie Chaplin as president, or the other way around i mean.



Roy Clark is probably making more cash and working less by hawking all the old episodes of one the best variety shows ever.


Speaking of Hee Haw, there was an old song on that show that I think fits here appropriately.

Gloom, despair and agony on me
Deep dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all
Gloom despair and agony on me

I dont know about your grandparents, but mine wouldn't be too happy about this spy business.

Pop Culture for PBS kids: Land of the Lost

It occurred to me the other day that this medium could be of some use to other people, particularly the more literate of my massive audience. You see, literate people spent their time in their formative youth developing their brains. They can have intelligent conversations about 'Connections' and 'Nova' Now, I have watched these programs too, but it was only in a classroom and never on my own volition. Oh and just in case you dont know what those shows are about then dont worry, you can probably get them on box set, as I dont think PBS has come up with its TV LAND channel just yet.

So for those of you that need some guidance, here are my suggestions to catching up with the rest of Generation X.



If you want to know why Xers are so screwed up, its because we watched to much Sid and Marty Krofft shows. I do not advise watching them all, but one should at least be able to know what a Sleestak is and how it moves and sounds...danger sound! The Land of the Lost has all of the nuiances of a great show. It always begins with a chilling intro song.

I have always said that Speilberg ripped off the Land of the Lost 'concept' when he made that weak dinosaur movie. Has someone just made a remake of LOTL it would have rocked way better. Every kid I knew that was a dude had a major crush on Holly, even though she was so stupid. Will, the brother was always a hothead. The Dad, Rick Marshall, was cool. But again, Speilberg ripped him off when he did the Indiana Jones movies.

The only thing missing is the weak link in the show, Chaka. Chaka spoke in acient pig latin. The only cool thing was Chaka reciting the nativity scene in the Old Testament.Chaka speech. Hows that for intelligent design?

Immigration, Fence, and Nazi kittens!

Today the House of Representatives are announcing that they are going to build a wall to keep people from migrating to the U.S. Link to AP story here
Correct me if I am wrong but isn't there already a fence? I doubt a mere fortification such as steel fence can keep them out. But besides that, I love this idea! Brilliant government! Why? Let's look on the bright side of life.Monty Python song here

We all know that the odds of another fence on the border stopping illegal immigration is pointless. People will find a way to get where they want to be. From ancient times to the present, immigration has been a problem for the great economic powers. Rome was overrun by barbarians eventually and it seems the U.S. will too. Hey, I not advocating a new Whitey land or anything, but I think whilst were being overrun we should use it our economic advantage. But maybe were doing that already.

Since the illegals are supposedly running people off of their jobs in their native land, these 'unemployed' can join the big work project down South and build a new fence. That way the 'illegals' can keep providing cheap labor to the rich pezzanovantes. That is what we refer to as a win-win situation. Again, whenever times seem to tough to overcome, Uncle Sam comes to the rescue! Bravo.

Now we all know that this will not completely solve the problem, but I think I know what will. As Bob Barker has pointed out every weekday morning for the last 87 plus years, 'help control the pet population and get your pet spied or nuetered.' Well despite Bob's pleas, the cat population still seems to be a problem. I have the solution. We need to train all of our unwanted cats to become border gaurds. (making funny pic fit bs story) Not just any kind of gaurd, but a Nazi border guard.

Execute my recommendations and we can end unemployement, illegal immigration, and solve the age old problem of what to do with unwanted cats...

Wes Anderson Films

25 years from now if these movies aren't required viewing at film school, then Western Civilization has ceased to exist.

How many movies have a different side to them? To me, nobody does the subtle 'retro' smart, depth, sarcastic humor better. In fact, it isn't possible unless it is a Wes Anderson movie. Without going into the pointless synopsis analysis ad hoc caveats about each movie, I would rather remark about the look and feel of it. Each movie has a clean, haughty, and pristine picture. That is, each scene is shot in a way that makes the backround seem interesting and right. Wes is a genius, think about it. You laugh at the situations and dialogue and at the same moment feel the emotions for all characters regardless of thier protagonist/antagonist status. Who does that? The characters are always in the best of situations, and in a cross but pleasant mood.

The point of this is to set up my next piece, working tilte is, "I quit my job and my Rushmore today."

Johnny Cash

Johnny Cash at Folsom prison, back before they incarcerated criminals in California I guess. I dont think a country act like Pat Green would get a warm reception down in Huntsville.

Its still a cool pic and reminds me of a suprisingly great book, 'Cash' by Johnny Cash. He is a good writer obviously but sometimes the two genres of writing dont mesh well.

My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

Who is John Galt? Herb Kelleher.

If you ask me Herb is John Galt. Who is John Galt? That is the question proposed to us in philosophical literature not so long ago. I spent almost a year trying to find out that mystery and I wont give that up so easily. Anything else sure, but not that. However, I am convinced that Herb is the personification of Mr. Galt in almost every way.

I have admired Herb Kelleher, the leader of Southwest, for many years. I have flown on Southwest Airlines numerous times, and I have always got from point A to point B, without a hassle. Now I want you to notice that I didn't call it 'his' airline. Its not his. Southwest belongs to him and his employees. Herb gets IT! Herb made it that way, and more importantly, never betrayed that trust with Southwest employees. I have never worked any airline, but I have worked for some big organizations. The Southwest employees actually care. Its not a gimmick or advertisement, thats why they are winning. Believe me that feeling is rare.

The only airline to turn a profit since 9/11 is...Southwest. Why do they make a profit and win? Before we explore that let's remember; I can think of no other legal enterprise, outside of the tobacco companies, that have succeeded in the face of so much adversity. The Wright Amendment is a travesty to free enterprise, everybody with a brain can figure that one out! Unfortunately, its not a question of economic free enterprise. It is merely an act of selfish greed. This single piece of legislation was designed to crush Love Field; and force Southwest to fly from DFW instead of its base near downtown Dallas. It seems this was a political power play executed from the offices of rivals bent on crushing Herb and Southwest. But wait, that was more than 20 years ago when the evil liberals that hated puppies, money, and Neiman Marcus were in charge.

Thank the red state Jesus that the Republicans can reverse this travesty of legislation perpetrated by the evil liberal; former Speaker Jim Wright. Well? Come on Republicans? What more could Texans want? Let's get out that platform and cross this one off as a tribute to Herb and free enterprise. In the words of Judge Smells on the 18th green at the climactic ending of Caddyshack, "well...WERE WAITING!"

Unfortunately, Kay Bailey Huchinson is no Danny Noonan. Neither is Kay Granger, R-Ft. Worth; nor Joe Barton, R-Arlington.

But Southwest is going to win. Despite the limitations of this airline, by law, to not fly non-stop past a 5 state area; they turned their limitations into a niche market. That is history. Today December 13, 2005; Southwest was freed by the law to fly to stops in Missouri...the proverbial throwing of the bone. Just this evening on the local news, Southwest competitors are cutting fares and rolling back schedules. Southwest just keeps adding on.

History is a big indicator of future results. If that is true, I'll take Herb and Southwest. Its not that I wish ill will on its competitors. I just know that he will win because he has the luxury of complete faith of his employees. Think about that, Southwest employees aren't the ones in constant strike, they 'luv' their jobs. WHY? Its because they know that if they work hard today and beat you today, they will be secure today and tomorrow. That is called esprit de corps!

I just changed my mind, John Galt is John Galt and Herb Kelleher is a real leader that never gives up on his dream. I wish you luck Herb. I hope that Missouri is today, and the world awaits tomorrow.

The Republicans and the religious right

This is the current party in charge, and I like the pictures. Especially the 'Baylor...Ned Flanders." I was thinking about going on a rant but I am having too much fun watching the drama on TV about Tookie Williams.

Richard Pryor

Harry suggested I do a tribute, so this is it.

Richard Pryor is dead. During his life he had a heart attack, was addicted to cocaine; and he almost died freebasing it. I remember thinking as a young teen that was terrible, because he was so funny. Despite those things he made some great movies. 'The Toy', 'Stir Crazy', and 'Harlem Nights.' He was one of the writers for one of my all time favorite films, 'Blazing Saddles.'

Rest in peace Richard, you made us laugh at our differences, very few comedians can claim that.

Sanford and son...greatest show ever?

Too bad this era of television is behind us, or is it? For some reason, Redd Foxx is my new hero. I recently quit smoking and I haven't seen El Guapo in over a month. He is not coming back! Anyway, I have this Sanford and son t-shirt that I wear all the time, because for some odd reason it makes me happy. You see, I have high blood pressure, and I can relate to the humor and seriousness of this character, I admire it.

Yes, we all know that Fred G. Sanford was always just seconds from 'coming to join you'. That was one of the highlights of the show, that and the constant verbal abuse ('you big dummy') served up to his son, Lamont. Remember when verbal abuse was funny? THOSE WERE THE DAYS....wrong show(All in the Family), same time period, and actually the same stream of conscience. Sorry for the massive ADD moments, but i will get there.

Whenever I think of all the problems that Fred had with Aunt Esther, Rollo, and Grady; it makes me ponder. I think that Sanford and son is really my life in a 70's television show. Here's how:

Aunt Esther is my current job. Hell my job is like having two Aunt Esthers constantly troubling me. My weight is like having Grady agitating you all day. Its not a huge distraction, or for that matter a nuisance, but eventually Grady is going to drive you into the ground. Oh, it gets worse. Rollo can come over too. Rollo is depression. Now Rollo is not always around but he is lurking and then at the worst possible moment; Rollo comes over and drinks all your Ripple and eats all your food. So then, you go out, spend extra money on drinking and food, because Rollo loves to party.

Now the great thing is that there is Lamont. Lamont is my friends and family. Lamont tries to talk sense to me, and like Fred, I often don't listen to Lamont when I should. Just like many an entertaining story thread eminate from Fred's screw ups, the same can be said for some bad events in my life. So far, things have worked out good bacause eventually Lamont comes and saves the day. Although a few episodes have been all Fred baby!

So how do we keep Sanford and son on the air?

Well Fred needs to get some blood pressure meds, exercise, eat right, and take care of himself. Fred needs to lay off the Ripple, although a great many studies have said that two glasses of ripple a day are good for you. A fatal mistake is to let Grady run the junkyard while you leave for St. Louis. In my opinion thats how the show cancelled, and we cant have that. We need to write Aunt Esther off the show. Now we need an Aunt Esther replacement of some kind because the show really would suck without an Aunt Esther.

We need to figure out a way to reduce Grady's presence on the show and have a recurring special guest star. Now Grady wont go away instantly, well I suppose he could, but thats not an option that the audience (cash) would appreciate. In fact, the audience would better served in the long run if we hire George Foreman. Now George could serve as exercise and diet. George would probably keep Rollo away as well. So we replace Grady and Rollo with George Foreman. I think Lamont would like George Foreman too. Lamont would also like to see his 'pop' in better shape. Because with Foreman around cooking and helping Fred exercise, its a win for everyone.

Will the dynamic of the show be different? Absolutely. Will it be better? Who cares, because no matter what Fred is going love Lamont. Thats what the show is really about. Because essentially we all see ourselves in characters. Every show has its version of Aunt Esther, Grady, and Rollo. Every show has its special guest stars and recurring themes. But the greatest thing is that not every show is the same, well except Hogans Heros, but you get my point? DO you?

Well we all know that eventually the show will get cancelled. But what really matters is the legacy of a great show. Does Sanford and son stand the test of time? Well one thing is for sure, it could have been better in the first few seasons; but it was always funny.

Dear American taxpayer,

I would refer to you as citizen; but you have very little rights, and I think an ancient Roman would liken your actual status; relative to those that rule, as below slavery. So for the time being until you show your hyped persona, it shall remain taxpayer, because a slave knows its lot in life, a modern American taxpayer doesn't.

I harshly criticize you, because you falsely seem contented. You know that your children are dumber than you. You know that you are slowly being duped out of the birthright for a new existence that was delivered by your fathers and grandfathers in World Wars. YOU KNOW, but you sit there and choose to pit yourselves against each other. Blue state/red
state mean anything to you?

RIGHT now, depending upon your particular political ideological brain filtering, (insert D or R here), are dismissing this letter without an original thought. Yet you are addicted to the fast food, and the ‘approved’ drugs that go with that addiction. You are complacent, self centered, and drunk on the musings of corrupt media and television.

You let these un-educated youth go forth and fight in foreign lands. You sent them there without an accurate reason, and inaccuracy remains to justify keeping them there. One
day some will educate themselves of their plight. How will they judge you?

Where is the most significant component of the American government? What happened to a government by the people? Because the government we have now couldn’t be construe now, next year, or 50 years from now as right. The only way that they are right is that they are perceived as being Republicans. Or excuse me, they are Republidemocraticlans.

The parties are the same and they have disenfranchised you by fraud and default. I would say, don’t let them take your freedom, but they already did that, and guess what? You paid for the takeover!

Don’t look at me if you’re pissed and want to do something. Answer to yourself and your family first. Answer to whatever gives you and yours true happiness. I don’t know what to do by myself. All I am asking is that you start using your resources and truly understand the needs of your family and community. Don’t be a ‘sheeple’ easily led to vote one way or the other. Use what is left of the American democracy and vote. I am not going to lie and tell you it will make a difference in your life tomorrow. It may not be accurate or significant, but please give it as much thought as your ancestors would; after all they delivered you from Feudalism.

Sincerely,
taxpayer

I want to be like Mike

Mike Leach and his offense brings forth shear joy. JOY in a way, and pardon me in advance if I offend, that is religiously spiritual. I know , I probably ought to reassess that but I cant help it. More on this in a bit because I must explain something first.

I can't speak for my other Red Raider brethren, but I love watching our football team. I have loved the Raiders since I was old enough to realize that I was from a Red Raider family. One can argue that we have always been able to do more with less talent as a school, I think that was true during the Spike era. But everyone that has been a Raider for longer than 10 years can tell you, its an exercise in football masocism. In reality, its still there, I felt it as recently as my trip to Stillwater last month. We are the Red Sox (now the Cubs I guess) of the Big 12 in football. We are good. We are dangerous as we always were. BUT now things are starting to change, I can really feel the vibe from the fans.

After years of consistent improvement in Air Raid, we finally got some help from the Tech D. The Tech D won some games, well actually the team won, but marked improvement in defense. BUT the big difference maker happened last year in San Diego. The win over Cal that propelled Tech into the Top 20 was huge. Recruits we might see consider Tech but go elsewhere are now signing and sticking. Now Mike and the coaching staff can start developing some consistent depth, the true mark of sustaining a top 20 program. Tech should do something that it briefly flirted with in 2002. Our school will start challenging the two powers of the Conference for the top. Believe me, i have alot of orange friends, and the smart ones know. This aint your daddy's Texas Tech.

I am bragging here, but I witnessed some great Tech football victories. When I was a boy we beat Texas, and I remember my Dad and my uncles with the biggest smiles. I was there, too broke top buy a ticket and snuck in, when the arrogant dumbass Aggie RC Slocum was throwing the ball in a tie game against the wind with less than a minute left in the fourth quarter....and then ZACH made them pay! What a great day that was to be a Red Raider. I have tears in my eyes just typing it. I was there, when we broke Texas in half in the season of 2002. WHAT A WIN! I remember, the Texas band pleading and beating out with their drums..."defense..defense" But it didn't matter. Wes Welker cannot be stopped! WE broke them that day ALMOST got them again the next year. I was there, at the Tangerine bowl, taking a ton of ribbing from the overconfident Clemson fans...then it just rained Red Raider points all night long. The greatness of the only sections left in the stadium at the end belonged to the Tech band, the Clemson band, and the rowdiest band of drunken relery I have ever seen outside of San Diego. I was there when Mike refused to give Cal a chance to get back in the game. The silence, jealousy, and disbelief from the Cal faithful when we converted on a fourth down in our own end of the field. The we stuck it down their throut and scored....GAME OVER. Time to party, and boy did we.

Then we beat Oklahoma. Oh it felt so good. Still feels so good. The morning after, I woke up and went and got the A-J. It had this picture...posted above. Well I got back home and immediately ordered a print of that picture...expensive frame job, the works. Anyway, last weekend the New York Times comes out about Leach, and I'm thinking hell yeah! Well there is a point, an epiphany can be reached from the apex of accumlative life experience. I want to be like Mike Leach. Seriously! He is pushing, changing, and sending the college football world on its head. I want to do that too, just not in the world of football. I decided to quit working for other people that are void of that thing that Mike has. Mike has desire to outhink and win, its nothing personal, he is just is going to do his thing. So yesterday, I decided to quit my job and do something with passion that I want to push and change. I am today a full time writer and entreprenuer, and oh yeah I'm a pirate just like Mike. ARRRGGGH!

The invention of the internet led to the downfall of the Aggie...

chickenwithabone,chickenwithabonetexasandm

I think there gonna crucify me!

The dream is over
What can I say?
the Dream is Over
Yesterday
I was the Dreamweaver
But now I'm reborn
I was the Walrus
But now I'm John
and so dear friends
you'll just have to carry on
The Dream is over

from 'God' by John Lennon


I listened to the Beatles since my begining. No single media medium, picture, musical group or genre moves me emotionally as Beatles music. Well maybe The Clash, or Buddy Holly..(sorry for the ADD moment)...The thing I remember is the remorse. Personally I felt the loss. John Lennon's death meant there would never be Beatles again. I wanted the Beatles to make more music. It made no sense to a nine year old boy why the Beatles broke up.

Now I'm 34 and I still dont get it. I dont get alot of things that dont really seem to matter. But somehow, this does. John Lennons death mattered. There have been countless things written about the deaths of Beatles because its one thing worth writing about. That needs no explanation.

I got extremely miffed at one of my close friends this morning. We frequently discuss on instant messenger recent deaths, politics, etc. Its mostly swiping cool movie quotes back and forth. Well we were doing some such today and I wrote a blurb about John Lennon, then he just spouts off this diatribe of hate towards the man. Of course, I blow it off and change the subject, but now I'm thinking that that is really shallow. I really dont know what is worse, killing the man in cold blood, or character assasination without true knowledge of Lennon talent 20 years after the fact? Well I know which is worse, but that is just screwed up. I think that is on par with burning books, or for that matter posthumously indicting Shakespeare for inciting pornography. I dont care if the two things are or arent related.

But I'm not going to fire a friend over the ignorance of Lennon. This is going to sound childish, but I think you are an idiot if you dont appreciate John Lennon. I know what people are going to retort on this, "hey man I like the music but the politics is bullshit, terrible, and un-democratic." Well it is impossible to have one and not have the other. DO I disagree with Lennon on some things....SURE. Now I know you'll think I just contradicted myself, but not really. I respect the mans beliefs. Believe it or not, John Lennon and the Beatles helped teach me the meaning of the word respect. His death taught me about loss and the appreciation of what remains. Oh and another thing, it taught me be friends despite differences. On second thaught, I learned that from a song by that cool ass group WAR. But you get the jizzle?

He didn't write, sing, live, love, and pour his soul out so that you would be subjugated. He wanted to break down the things that devide and keep humanity the selfish mob that we are. Do you get that?

Okay, I feel better now.

Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream

from 'a Day in a life' by The Beatles.

Just think! We are now safe from this world wide menace!

Kingfish Cracker Ass Stew

It's 47 below zero or something outside so I thought that since I couldn't get into work today, I would make some smacklins. Its called Cracker ass stew because this guy at the grocery store called me a, "Cracker Ass" because I evidently, "stole his parking spot." Of course I didn't let that one go and asked him, "I dont see a Welfare Parking sign..SIR." I almost gave him the double snap for effect. No response from said minority. I love the ghetto grocery.

Okay so here's the dealio:

1. you must chop up some garlic and let it cook in the pot in a bit of Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
2. add the 2lbs of sirlion beef, and dont go cheap cracker ass and get pork cause de pork be filthy.
3. Then season wiff chili powder, sea salt, ground pepper. Turn up da heat, if you paid you bill dat is.
4. Add some fresh chopped onion whilst dat meat is cooking down.
5. ALCOHOL! add some Syrah/Shiraz wine. not much. Half a glass will work.
6. DUMP time...2 cans of Rotel original and 3 cans of Veg-all!
7. Cook it medium heat until is bubbly then turn it down to simmer fo 20 minutes.

Stay warm and watch out for welfare parking.

History and chess should be cornerstone in any meaningful education.

Your so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you.

"You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? don’t you? "


Let me break it down for you this way, if she was singing to me, I would take the bet! Because, the song is about me, since it refers to me in the lyrics. But in actuality the song is about you, since it refers to you. So in that case I would advise you to take the bet. So what is the bet?


"I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...
Well I hear you went up to saratoga and your horse naturally won
Then you flew your lear jet up to nova scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not you’re with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and..."


Okay, I get the imaginative iliteration about the clouds. But I have several problems to deal with here. In Saratoga, New York there is an actual horse track, link here. Nova Scotia is only 857 miles away from the track, somewhat significant, but it is only a scant 2 degrees north latitude. With this in mind, couldn't the same total eclipse be seen from Saratoga? Yes it could. So why the need for a Canadian reference? Marketing maybe?

Next point, how can he be where he should be all the time? Because are we to buy Carly's presumption that being with an underworld spy and the wife of a close friend are bad? I think not! I am not buying it! Because he either is where is supposed to be all the time or he isn't and it simply cant be both.

Now I could go on here, But Carly needs to revise this thing completely. I'm done wiff dis!

Quote of the Day

"Life is only fair to those that make it even."

El Rey de pez

MIKE LEACH.


Things I like about Mike Leach.

#1: He doesn't punt.

#2: Mike doesn't expect winning, he just wins!

#3: Mike is smarter than you.

Mike is the best thing to happen to Texas Tech since Preston Smith. Thank you players, coaches, and staff for taking care of, and doing the Mike Leach thang. Keep on winning and strive for honor!

Required reading for every Tech fan!

It so good it will make you cry. Then if you do cry, does that mean maybe ya take this stuff too seriously?

New York Times

My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy!

Dearest Matadors,

Here my plea! The vast, glorious, and great State of Texas needs your attention! The day draws near when you, the citizen, is required to make yourself an instrument of democracy!

I call you not to vote, sign a petition, or speak on behalf of the candidate I endorse. Instead, I ask that you simply take the time to educate yourself, register to vote, and vote your mind.

But while your thinking....consider this.

The Aggies cant win a football game, much less a lead a state when it faces an education crisis!. Gov.Goodhair has never been a big fan of anything Llano Estacado and I dont he will do anything but talk the talk in the interim.

Consider this, if we help Kinky get on the ballot, we confirm that not only is democracy alive in the Lone Star State, but we confirm the greatness of the American Dream.

The bottom line is, no matter what happens, the voters and citizens of Texas need to let these politicians, lobbyists, and shysters, know exactly who and what runs this state. TEXANS run this state!

Its time we quit being Republicans and Democrats, or Liberals and Conservatives..etc, etc. Its time that we start being real Texans that do, say, and live the right thing.

Let's help the Jewish Cowboy!

KINKY.com

Eye heart Halliburton.

I just got finished reading this Halliburtonwatch

I'm going to take a slightly different look at this company, but before I do that I want to set down some observations. After that I'm going to ask one question.

1. Oil is important, in fact it is so important we will pay over $3 a gallon for it.

2. Iraq has Oil, lots of it.

Because of these facts, U.S. citizens and leaders need to consider the current position in Iraq and the Middle East in a much different light. The debate centers around the how and why of the actions taken by the current Executive and Legislative branches of government. It's the same tired arguments every day on print and electronic media. However, has anyone really considered the upside of being in Iraq from a purely capitalist standpoint?

The answer is obviously YES. Halliburton is reaping the direct benefits of becoming the exploitation arm of the greatest capitalist country ever. Record profits by many oil and production companies have investors screaming, Arbusto! Is anyone else winning the war in Iraq. May I remind you that American taxpayers pay for this war. THINK ABOUT THAT! I dont have a voice modulation problem, I have a pay for war coming and going problem. Now for my question.

What is in it for me? What do I get?

Better yet, Halliburton can I have a job?

Sorry that was three questions.

Oklahoma State is Diversity!

We have alot to learn in Texas about inclusion and hospitality from our Conference brethren in Stillwater, OK. Of All the Big 12 schools, I have never attended such a diverse, loving, literate, and solvent tailgate.

Just because we love ya in that special way,go ahead and use our guns up,.... Raider Power cheer....call it orange power if you like; and feel free to use our intellectual property or software.

Here is a nice shot of Pistol Pete and his Pa during parents weekend.

It dont matter whos down in Austin!

Bob Wills is still the king! I never get tired of that music. My grandparents were even bigger fans. They use to go square dance every week to some Western Swing joint in or around Ft. Worth. My favorite song of all time is 'Faded Love'. I am also always happy to hear 'Milk Cow Blues' and 'Eighter from Decatur.'

By my screwed up standards, Bob Wills has to be the one of the greatest Texans of all time! I know that every summer the town of Turkey has a big Bob Wills festival. Its down there in the most beautiful part of the entire State of Texas. Turkey barely sits in Hall County but is next to metropolitan area of Quitaque, TX.

Speakin of Quitaque, One of our dearest poker buddies is from there. He is the best assistant football coach in the history of LISD. Cant mention his name of yet because I dont have his permiso. Maybe I can get an interview with him on my bird huntin expose.

The bottom line is you just dont meet or visit with anybody finer than those great people of West Texas. God Bless all y'all.

Well anyway, Bob Wills is the king, and I've decided to go on a honky tonk kick for the next two weeks....watch out liver!

Mr. Belding vs. Lumbergh

How bored are you, an even better question is how bored was I to come up with this epiphany in traffic on I-35? The thing that sucks is this is the second time I have had to write this tonight. SO I hope and pray you enjoy this. Let me know.


Fistfight: Lumbergh, no contest. It might be a better fight between A. C. Slater and Lumbergh. Lumbergh has a slight reach, speed, and strength advantage which comes up huge in fights over 5 rounds. It wouldn't go that far because Belding is a pansy. Belding may get saved by the bell, but he cant beat comittment to excellence of Bill Lumbergh.

Debate: Belding wins. Sure, Lumbergh would shock and astound with the onslaught of 'hmmm', 'yeah', and 'i dont know about that.' It's just that I've seen Belding damn near strip Lisa Turtle naked with his vicious tongue lashings. I know that Lumbergh has patented the great, "Friday is Hawaiin shirt Day.' arguments and orations, but Belding rebuttals are epic, indefensable, and prima facie biotches.

One on One Basketball: Belding in an upset. Belding takes Lumbergh down to the block and punishes him with elbows and sheer weight. Beldings pump fakes and opidopes are too much. Lumbergh glides into some easy lay-up drives, but he gets broken down on D late and Belding triumphs.

Fashion: Lumbergh comes back huge. Sure Belding has some nice Cosby sweaters but he is a broke ass principal. Despite the efforts of Turtle, Kelly, and that dish rag whore Jessie, they cant overcome the Initech cash of Lumbergh. Its hard to top a man that has the confidence and know-how to wear suspenders and a belt at the same time.

Interpretive Dance: TIE. Lumbergh shows off his pop n lock routine to Beastie Boyz "Intergalactic" and brings down the hizzle. Belding doesn't panic and stays within his artistic range. The Bayside elder struts his stuff with a cozy ribbon and ball routine to 'Darling Nicky' by Prince.

TIE BREAKER: goes to a popular vote by comment on below. Voting will close at 8pm tomorrow.

The winner advances, loser goes home.

My Hump

I am completely blown away! This is a song lyric from the Black Eyed Peas.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (x3)
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me,up on me, on me.
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.

Its aptly named, "My Humps".

Catchy huh?


Move over Beastie Boyz. These guys can write! I'm no huge fan of hippy hop music, but I know a classic when I hear it. Dont get me wrong here. I wouldn't recommend this album just yet, I've only heard the one song. But if this song is indicative of the Album content, we may have the best album since 'To the Extreme' by Vanilla Ice. I'm totally serious kids...ITS THAT GOOD!

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/My-Humps-lyrics-Black-Eyed-Peas/A03069D1CAEDF1A148257013000F75FD

Freakonomics..finally all that cifferin comes in handy!

I finally picked this book up today at the bookstore. I was feeling a bit snooty and thought this might make me more hip if I new all the lingo and shizzle inside. Of course, I wuz right again. I know that this has been written about already, but i just dont think these dudes have gone as far as they can. I think if they told the complete and total truths of their studies, this book doesn't get published.

I haven't yet finished the whole thing so I will refrain from further comentary. I may not finish it, thats just the way I roll sometimes.

Here is a list of other books I have read, currently reading, but not completely finished: 'The Bible' as inspired by God, and 'Being and Time' by Stephen Hawking. Oh yeah MOM, there is no way I'm going to read a book entitled, "Beer can chicken." I might re-gift it. Look out Harry or Ron.

I would like to finish with a rant about the lexicon. Lexicon is defined as, "a word book describing language with definitions;dictionary." When I was 18 years old I heard about this thing called PC or Political Correctness. As I learned about it, I thought and felt deep in my soul that this was a movement corrupt with contradiction. This movement was supposed to revolutionize the relationships between all people. They were right about that! The current divisiveness that permeates throughout the land has its seed in the PC movement. This division has us all tormented with D or R or Red state/blue state. People aren't thinking, "whats good for my community?" Instead they really want to figure out how to screw the opposition out of power. Well Damn it to hell! This republic is supposed to be above this.

Think about it this way, the current PC movement doesn't allow us to say someone is a whore. Instead we must say he or she(of course in 1990 we would assume a female) is sexually promiscuous. I hate to steal George Carlins thunder, but damn that boy is right. We could go on and on citing the examples...but thats just going to piss me off. Dont teach the children to think for themselves, instead teach them to pass a standardized test. I think that is a line from a Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young song...or maybe not. WELL THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT IS THE WORLD ISN'T STANDARDIZED!

Most teachers today have never heard of the Dartmouth method or Linux. Two things from different eras that exemplify the same thing. THINK and DO for yourself on your own merits. The teachers that do know about it will get fired if they dont follow the curiculum. These kids are just numbers, which is the point I'm getting from this book.



www.freakonomics.com

Will Polka for beer!

Alpenmusikaten is the greatest polka band of all time! If you have never heard these guys then you are missing out. Allen and the boys can do it all. Country-polka, raggae-polka, polka-rock, and fusion polka is never anything but greatness.

Unfortunately, I dont think these guys have ever played Lubbock, but they will be booked for the Texas Tech-TCU pre-game bash in Ft. Worth. They be can found carousing about various German festivals.

Kingfish Advanced Poker Theory

As many of my 'avid' readers I have been playing poker for over 10 years and semi-professionally for about the last 2 years. I had spent many hours playing limit poker mostly, when it occured to me that everything that I had read and scene on TV poker was really bullshit. Therefore, along with my poker co-hort Helmut, I decided to come up with some advanced limit poker theories to help the novice loser.

Now first of all, if your new to poker and are looking for the end all be all strategery, YOU are at the right place. LET'S all say this to ourselves as we read it.

KAPT (Kingfish Advanced Poker Theory) #1: Literacy is for losers.

KAPT #1 is also known as the LAW OF HELMUT!

Dont waste your money on stupid books! Instead use that money to gamble! Those books are written by so-called Poker professionals right? Why did they write those books? So you could read them then show up and win. Come on! Think before you purchase a book. They just wrote those books to figure out another way to drain your bankroll. The great thing about the LAW OF HELMUT is that you can use it at the table to needle your opponents (whom have read every damn book!)...especially after I teach you my shizz.

KAPT #2: 4-9 suited and 4-9 offsuit are not to be thrown into the muck! NEVER DO THIS! Raise with these bad mofos as soon as you get them in tandem.

KAPT #2 is also known as the SWIVEL. Swivels can and do win that extra pot you need to have a profitable session. Yeah sure everybody knows to raise with AA-KK-QQ etc, but you know what QQ is good for? Gettin snapped off at the river by 4-9 and a straight! AND YOU RAISED! Genius. Winning with the swivel will put your opponents on tilt. Trust me...as they are steaming announce, "I had the swivel cards suited, what did you expect me to do???FOLD!"

KAPT #3 :Intermittantly call with 7-3 off and 8-5 off, and raise with these combonations when suited. If the flop comes picture, picture, blank, then you know what to do hopefully. If the flop comes blank, blank, blank......FIRE AT WILL SOLDIER! Chasing pictures out of the game is essential. KAPT #3 is also known as the FLEX. Flex cards can also be great for catching nut straights and small flushes.

KAPT #4: J-6 suited should be played out of position and always raised. Never call with this hand! EVER! The purpose of this hand is simple. Chase out the chasers before, during, and at the showdown. Comprende? This hand is also excellent when the diablos hit the board. Say the flop is A-10-6. You are probably behind in the hand to a caller with an Ace. Therefore, you know what they have, most of the time, if you fire and they call. Turn comes 6. You check feigning weakness to the other 6 hitting. So dat dude bets you pop him for a raise then he calls. River J....RUH ROH card. You bet, he raises wff two pair A-J then you cram it in again with your diablo's full of jacks! HAHAHAHAHA! Pot is even better if you have your a couple of flush and straight callers. The real concept that you must understand is; what hand did they put you on? A-pic, big pair, whatever; but it damn sure wasn't J-6suited!
KAPT #4 is also known as the SWING. Swing hands are aptly named for what they can do to your chip stack.

KAPT #5: Strike first, strike hard, and no mercy!

KAPT #5 is also known as the Cobra Kai.

Next week we will be covering my new theory. Screw pot odds...sometimes you need to raise needing runner-runner; to build your own pot odds.

These are some notes and excerpts from my new book with a working title called; "Won Ton Soup, Immigrant Poker, and AH YAA!